Dating Advice form Culture's Biggest Strikeouts: Christmas Edition

Well the goose is not only getting fat but is now quite fat indeed. For that reason Christmas is known to have arrived. With Christmas Eve my family sits to watch the beloved classic "Muppet's Christmas Carol" and so we sat tonight. Lo and behold my sister recommended Scrooge as a contender from which we could derive bad dating advice. Thus I reflect:

Scrooge is an odd person who seems to fail at much more than dating. From those habits and his brief relationship with Ann (or Egg or whatever her name was) let's pick up how not to pick up.

1. Hate everything
A rough starting ground but sure to give off that 'bad boy' vibe I hear is so popular with the ladies.

2. Ignore charity
Nothing says weakness like giving to the poor and women like strong men.

3. Seek the counsel of ghosts
This works for Scrooge and he does become a better person. But from what I can tell only desperate people take the counsel of ghosts and when you hit rock bottom looking for a girlfriend is low priority. Scrooge's priority: coal consumption.

4. When you are in a frank discussion about your relationship and how unfeeling you are... abruptly shove an expensive gift in her face.
Arguments are for a moment but diamonds are forever. Am I right?

5. If your girlfriend breaks into a song about love being gone. Walk away.
Its too late and frankly she sings too much.

6. two words: Catch Phrase
The ladies eat them up. "Bah Humbug" "Bazinga" "Hammer time" The list is endless and you can't go wrong.

7. Lastly if everything has gone wrong. Scrooge recommends harboring a deep hatred for Christmas. It may not get you the girl but everyone in town will be talking about you... and popularity is the fast track to singles heaven.

Merry Christmas.

Patman the Merry

Dating Advice from Culture's Biggest Strikeouts 2

Tonight we examine the case of Beast from "Beauty and the Beast." Some may argue that he is not a cultural strikeout and he in fact gets the girl. I feel that regardless of this for the most part Beast was a strike out from the get go and although his strategy eventually worked for him it was hit or miss there for a while.

Let's look at his methods:

1) Abuse the elderly.
It may seem like a poor move like giving up a piece in chess but for this prince "charming" isn't central to his style.

2) Don't date till you are absolutely desperate.
See the beast hid himself away getting more and more bitter just waiting for his rose to go out and it wasn't until chance and desperation got together that he swung for the fences and brought home our beauty.

3) Over react to about everything.
Trespassers: Throw them in the dungeon!
Enter the East wing: GET OUT!
Girl leaves him: Lock oneself in the tower and become emo... I mean give up on love.

4) Dance. It's good and it works.

Now the final pieces of the puzzle where the Beast ends up succeeding:

5) Kick the girl out.

6) Let the villagers come to kill you.

7) Kill local hero.
Sure Gaston was a jerk to Belle but everyone else seemed to love him.

8) Die.
Bold move by any account.

9) Get the girl.
Somewhere between death and love the beast should have been a lost cause. But because he abused the elderly decades ago he gets the opportunity to marry the most beautiful girl in town and he does.

This is a questionable method and I wouldn't recommend it for anyone because you really need a magical curse to turn blessing and they are not a dime a dozen.

I hope you have learned something valuable about dating from the Beast.

Patman the Well-informed.

PS - I should have mentioned that the Beast also takes advantage of his friends and co-workers involving them in his curse. Again not the best strategy but very popular by today's dating standards.

Bitter

So is a blog a long twitter or is twitter short blogging?

These are the questions of our time.

Patman the Pat

If Sufjan just isn't enough

I saw D. Young post this link to his brother and found the greatest culmination of free Christmas music of all varieties. Check it out. It's free!

Patman the Joyous

I'm not sure how proud I should be of this...

I'm not sure how proud I should be of this but five years ago I was as funny as Jimmy Fallon is today.

http://www.thrfeed.com/2009/11/neil-young-sings-fresh-prince-theme-song-video.html

Its been done Fallon...

Patman the better than Fallon.

Devoted #4: Citizens, families, and buildings

Eph 2:11-22 tonight.

Considered what it meant to be citizens of heaven, part of the family of God and God dwelling in us.

It seems to me this is all about identity markers. I not Canadian first I am a citizen of heaven, I am not a Sutherland first I am part of God's family, I am not my own I am God's dwelling place.

Patman the identified.

Devoted #3: For God so loved...

Given that I have maintained three days of reflection I am now an expert. A sagely guide to the spiritual. A wise-man prepared to solve all the problems one may have theologically, spiritually and relationally.

But besides that I was taken aback by another question today. I read Eph 2:1-10. And was eventually asked why does God love us so much?

Theologically I can identify lots of reasons many to do with creation (ie image of God in us, God's concern for that which he has made) and some to do with God's character (being love and all) but it doesn't always translate to my heart.

In fact when answering the question it was much easier to say why God would love everybody else rather than why God would love me. Generalizations are easy, specifications are hard.

Patman the beloved.

Devoted #2:Knowing Jesus Changes Today

So today I was looking at Ephesians 1:15-23. The challenging question for me was in light of the fact that knowing Jesus more changes the way we see things what are practical ways we can live that change?

This semester I have written, read and preached on the subject of change in light of a future hope that we have in Jesus and the resurrection. Ironically when I read this question I was taken aback by the practical element.

It is easy to glaze over the abstract and say "hope changes everything" but in concrete terms it takes more thought. In one sense as well it is easy to say "we live that expected future today" by feeding the poor, offering healing to the sick and setting captives free but again in serious question is "Today what can I do?" Or "how am I today living in hope?"

It's harder to answer I think.

I need to make the abstract practical today and allow Jesus to be invasive in what I do. (Still an abstract thought!)

Patman the Hopeful?

Devoted #1

A while back I heard Andy Crouch preach on purchases and practices at the Tyndale Faith Talks. All in all it was a fantastic argument for living a disciplined life over a quick fix life. I thought it was the most significant portrayal of why we do the spiritual disciplines.

And I did nothing in response.

I wanted to engage in a practiced life but I apparently forgot.

So I'm trying to do that now. Simply put I am devoting myself to personal study of the bible. I got this Bible Study guide that N. T. Wright put out on Ephesians and its a really easy and concrete 11 session study of Ephesians. I'm going to try to work through that. And to keep myself committed I am going to blog a reflection once a day in light of that time.

Today I was looking at Ephesians 1:1-14 and I struggled with the question: What ways is God calling me to bless others?

I was taken aback by the question because although I try to serve God, spend summers in a camp environment, and school years in seminary. But right now, this semester, I'm not sure I am actively engaged in blessing others. I do a few things here and there but I am rarely intentionally blessing others.

I can gloss over it and say that I am devoted to my studies which is preparations for blessing others but that's a bit of a cop out.

I need to think about it.

Patman the Thinker

Sixty-four Squares

I have few past times that I call loves.

I enjoy music and playing it on my guitar, banjo and the likes.
I enjoy my studies and reading a good theological text once and a while.

But these are not necessarily things that I love. They are not loves.

Musicals I love.

And recently I have found my soul being called to a past love: Chess

I learned to play chess with my Grandpa. Before he died he lived with us and we used to, when I was younger, play a game or two once everyday or two. He taught me to love chess.

But I'll admit I stopped playing chess for many years.




However, the allure of sixty-four squares called to me and I returned to my first love: Chess.

Check and Mate.

Patman the King

Quoting is fun

So I had my interview with Andy Crouch a few weeks back and I thoroughly enjoyed reading his book and talking about it.

(I did not enjoy transcription from audio to magazine)

He had some great things to offer the discussion we were having in the Canon25 and for today's blog post let me quote one for you:

"I believe that God is in the business of changing the world but I think that’s God’s business. My business is not to change the world but to create culture. It’s a different thing, because culture is always created locally. When you talk about the world it is so grand and inevitably abstract. Whereas my calling is to figure out what I can do today in my home town, with the networks of people I am connected to and that’s only a couple hundred people that I could actually collaborate to do something with. That’s where I am responsible to do something."

-Andy Crouch

Read his book Culture Making. Its well worth the read.

Patman the well... read.

With Christmas comes song...

It is important each year to have a deep and passionate love affair with a Christmas song.

Sounds provocative I know...

I typically blog once a year about the Sufjan Stevens Songs for Christmas.
I do this for a few reasons:

1) Its great
2) It happens to coincide with paper writing and frankly blogging beats paper writing and Christmas beats exams
3) I am not nearly interesting enough to maintain an original or new blog idea every day let alone year.
4) Its led to a personal tradition that I wish to inspire others toward

Each year, typically through Sufjan, I pick out a classic hymn, or song dedicated to Jesus' birth and make it the Christmas Song of the Year. I meditate, sing and enjoy the richness of its meaning and allow the music I hear every year one more chance to impact me.

Previous winners include:
2006 - Lo How a Rose Err Blooming
2007 - O Come O Come Emmanuel
2008 - Oh Holy Night

The best thing about this practice is that it slow but surely is building a compilation of Christmas songs that I have let touch my soul and continue to reach me each year.

This year I have gone away from the Sufjan list...
I present "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear"

It came upon the midnight clear,
That glorious song of old,
From angels bending near the earth,
To touch their harps of gold;
“Peace on the earth, good will to men,
From Heaven’s all gracious King.”
The world in solemn stillness lay,
To hear the angels sing.

Still through the cloven skies they come
With peaceful wings unfurled,
And still their heavenly music floats
O’er all the weary world;
Above its sad and lowly plains,
They bend on hovering wing,
And ever over its Babel sounds
The blessèd angels sing.

Yet with the woes of sin and strife
The world has suffered long;
Beneath the angel strain have rolled
Two thousand years of wrong;
And man, at war with man, hears not
The love-song which they bring;
O hush the noise, ye men of strife
And hear the angels sing.

And ye, beneath life’s crushing load,
Whose forms are bending low,
Who toil along the climbing way
With painful steps and slow,
Look now! for glad and golden hours
Come swiftly on the wing.
O rest beside the weary road,
And hear the angels sing!

For lo! the days are hastening on,
By prophet-bards foretold,
When with the ever circling years
Comes round the age of gold;
When peace shall over all the earth
Its ancient splendors fling,
And the whole world send back the song
Which now the angels sing.

There is a richness to Christmas hymns.

Patman the Rich

Today

Blessing of Manwich on this fine Manwichfest.

Patman the stuffed (with Manwich)

ps photos coming soon.

Distractions 2009 #1

Ok so I was working on a paper and then I wasn't because I was surfing the internet...

Found this...

Ólafur Arnalds - Ljósið (Official Music Video) from Erased Tapes on Vimeo.

Officially distracted...

Patman the calmed.

Interview

I am excited and nervous. Have you ever interviewed someone? I haven't. Tomorrow I am going to interview someone. I may very well have jumped into the deep end.

A year ago or so I first encountered a book called "Culture Making" by Andy Crouch. I was caught up in its ideas and its potential. I started to read it in December and I finished it recently. And tomorrow I am going to sit down with Andy Crouch and ask him a few questions. All for the sake of that beloved project Canon25.

Have you ever thought what you might ask someone who you really enjoyed reading? I'm looking forward to meeting the man and intrigued at the prospect of an interview.

I'm just hoping my interview skills are going to bring about good discussion.

Patman the Reporter.

Spiritual Warfare

There comes a time in most people's live when they have to move from flippant jokes about living to a serious discussion about serious issues.

Today is not that day.

In 2003 I was introduced to Brad Longard, average Christian, decent guy and played saxophone. Brad introduced me to at least two cool things. The first was Seinfeld. The second was "Spiritual Warfare" which is not the meaningful, complicated and maybe even alarming practice of the church but rather the Nintendo Entertainment System's answer to the age old question: What do I do at 8:30 when youth group ends?

This game has it all.

Basic Premise: You are a Christian trying to make a difference in the world. Your goal destroy the devil. But how does one destroy the devil? Well for that you have two goals.

Goal #1: Collect the armor of God. By exploring the various areas in your city (which include the park, downtown, and the slums) you will meet "bosses" and defeat them. After defeating them you will find the armor piece they had. Now these armor pieces each boost your character. For example: the belt of truth allows you to push large objects (I for one think this is a logical jump from truth to superhuman strength but you can feel free to disagree). Collecting the armor and using their various atributes you can access the dark 'under-city' where apparently the devil lives (which I think is odd because I thought the ninja turtles lived under video game cities but perhaps thats a different town).

Ok so you have managed to maneuver your way into the lair of the devil and even get to see him face to face so now what?

Goal #2: Collect the fruit of the spirit and use it to convert everyone and everything and blow up the devil. That's right your main 'weapon' in the game is the fruit of the spirit which is represented by actual fruit. You throw the fruit at everybody and they get on their knees and then disappear (or rapture). This is true in most cases but watch out sometimes they have a demon in them so throw an extra fruit just in case and get the demon too. The fruit offers great variety. You can throw apples, pears, bananas, grapes and even pomegranates and they all act in different ways. Its mad fun and its saves souls. You also throw the fruit at the Devil. I recommend the grapes because it is a triple shot in an array of directions.

Other high lights:

1- Angels- they show up and ask you trivia. Which includes a very nerd boy who smiles when you get the answer right. Which, as those of you who grew up in Sunday School know, is an accurate description of what is important in church.

2- Wrath of God- in case the fruit just isn't enough you can throwdown a vial of the wrath of God and blow up rocks, walls and people (who I think convert).

3- Hymns- In poor sounding NES quality music you get "On Christ the Solid Rock I Stand" over and over and over and over again.

4 and perhaps my favorite- the Bar- You gotta be careful cause if you go in the bar you lose a piece of armor and have to buy it back at the pawn shop, in the slums, with you faith. (Oh Faith is currency you use to buy more fruit, health and is the prize from converting people and winning trivia)

All in all I'd say this is the most accurate picture of my life and faith ever produced into video game form. But like most Christian video games I think this one should be left behind.

Patman the Spiritual

Oh and here is a video if you don't believe me


Even Better I found where you can play it online

Moving on...

It seems to me the natural order of things is to participate in University life at Tyndale and graduate.

After graduation you have approximately four choices:

1 Leave forever
2 Go to Seminary
3 Audit for life
4 Work at Tyndale til you die

That being said I have only personally achieved #2 but I have also created a new option: go back to the university and help run the Canon25.

That's right the magazine we all thought had a heart attack and was gone is back and ready for action.

Student publications at Tyndale has always had an awkward run. The New Apocrypha, and Canon25 have been two recent examples of what student writing can achieve but there was always this problem: how to generate content?

Strategies included:
Loud posters, consistent nagging, write something funny in hopes to get people excited, give up and publish cartoons only.

But I have found a new and exciting way to generate content. Apparently to get people to write you have to come up with the concept and then ask them to write the concept for you.

So I think it would be interesting to hear about the idea of sanctification as a means to time travel... I know that Bret Phlipt is interested in the subject. So I ask him to write up something for me on that subject.

And here is the kicker... Bret often says yes.

Content generated.

Patman the editor

Today is Classic Music Day

I have embarked on a journey of musical direction.

Reminded by my mind of the days of Halo 2 and music I have set out to comprise a playlist of epic proportions including: Talking Heads - Fear of Music, Phish - Billy Breathes, Elvis Costello- My Aim is True, and The New Pornographers.

Til my paper is done this music shall ring forth for all, mainly me, to enjoy.

A dream its true...
But I'd see it through...

Patman the Waster

Jim. Pam. Married this Thursday.

Blogged Down

Well here I am once again confessing.

Oh great priest that hears my confession I beseech thee to forgive my idle hands, my idle mind, and my idle heart.

Oh sovereign ear be wise in counsel, slow to judge and quick to assist me in my hour of need.

Raise up again the keys of my board.

And cause me to blog again.

Oh great internet receive my earnest offering and allow me to write once again my blog.

Amen

Patman the Pat is Back

Comic Book - the Medium

I am clearly a nerd.

No need to argue about it and no need to be ashamed of it.

But up until last year there was a medium of 'nerdom' that I had never given any serious thought or time to: the comic book.

I was blown away.

Now maybe it was the accumulation of all my other nerdy pass-times that thrust me, as many before me, into the genre but I'd like to think that I came upon comic books unnaturally and found them to be a compelling source of insight into art both written and drawn.

As many of you know I like television and I primarily like it for its story. Comics are no different. (allow me to clarify: I keep on saying comics but I really want to refer to graphic novels which are a collection of comics that encompass a large story)

My love affair with comics starts with Batman and technically ends there (although I have branched out to a few culturally relevant Alan Moore reads). Batman is great. I always liked Batman but then I read Batman and I like him more.

Here's the best thing about it: archetypal themes handle by a person which leads to genuine human emotion, struggle and depth. Or to say it another way amidst the absurd story lies a common theme that I can relate to. It draws out questions on morality, justice and sanity. It brings to light the complex balance of emotion and thought that one, trying to make sense of the world, wants and perhaps needs to explore.

I'm down with it.

I'm a nerd.
I'm a Batman Fan.
I'm down with it.
I'm ok.

Patman the Comic Reader

PS I would never read marvel.

I am Second

Casually surfing the net. Reading things. Watching things. I found an interesting website the other day.

www.Iamsecond.com

A collection of video testimonies of famous people or just people who love Jesus. Each one explaining why Jesus is first and they are second.

I am really down with the idea.

Patman the second

New Segment: Dating Advice from cultures biggest strike outs

I was watching "The Phantom of the Opera" yesterday or the day before and I realized that one can learn much from the Phantom in terms of how to approach a lady and win a date and perhaps that great joy of marriage. From observation one can only learn what is not recommended but knowing what not to do is half the battle.

Therefore I give to you...

If you want to impress the ladies like the phantom does...

1) Prey on the Naive.
Naive people are dumb that is why they are naive. Therefore you can convince them of all sorts of things that are both not true and highly unlikely.

2) Prey on preexisting errors within the person:
With Christine it was the whole my dad died and he promised to send me an angel. Become that angel and you win.

3) Become useful in their lives
The phantom taught singing which was a straight line to the heart.

4) Sing:
Somehow when a guy sings, and sings well he can sing whatever he wants to sing without creeping out the lady... I mean really try speaking the song "Music of the Night" to a girl and see how that goes...

5) (and this is where he falls off the deep end) Build a replica mannequin of the girl you desire, put a wedding dress on it and show it to the lady.
No comment

At this point if everything falls apart the Phantom recommends developing a plot to kill everyone and force the lady to love you forever.

I hope this give some fresh perspective to the dating scene out there. Good luck and God speed.

Patman the hopeless

Note: If you need a good mannequin designer I know a guy.

The Back of the Line Club

Once and a while I think I have a good idea. For it to be a good idea it doesn't have to be useful, worth something or even beneficial. It does however have to waste time and be entertaining to me and perhaps you.

My most recent good idea is the Back of the Line Club.

At camp we have a long line during our meals and last year we found that as senior staff we are stuck at the back for about 20 minutes on a good day. So we joked about having a back of the line club. At the time we jokingly called to order, checked old business (of which there was none), checked new business (of which there was none) and then adjourned. It was funny and didn't mean too much.

However this year Jim and I have decided to up the ante. We now have officially formed the Back of the Line club. We have meetings at every dinner meal and record those meetings in our handbook. The meetings are generally a discussion of policy and procedure within the group. Further we have expanded ourselves building new membership and establishing an alumni.

It has been one of the best ways to pass idle time I have ever encountered. Tonight we welcome (hopefully) three new members and applications are coming in daily.

Patman the President of the Back of the Line Club
"We Got Your Back"

Where did I go?

Just when you thought patmanthepat.blogspot.com was dead. It lives.

It turns out that when I finished school and was working approximately 14 hours a week my amount of time spent doing extra curricular like blogging went down hill. It lends to my theory that in order to make wasting time (play) valuable you must balance it with spending time (work). Too bad.

I would have loved to play and never work.

Patman the playfilled

A moment til seriousness

So my last post was heavy (comparatively to my normal posts) and I just got back from my Camden Missions trip and I want to write about it but I feel it will be heavy. And I don't really want to write something heavy after something heavy so this is a momentary lapse til seriousness.

so what do you call a nun who can't sit still?

A roamin' catholic.

Pmtp

Is there honor amungst the thieves?

I hate everything oppression takes from them...
I love everything oppression gives me...

Patman the UnJust.

...Til Somebody Loses an Eye

School is done and I have time to waste.

So I have reinstated some of my old video game favorites. (this likely won't last so I will indulge while I can)


1- Elder Scrolls III- Morrowind
Nothing like battling the undead to give you that "I'm out of school" feeling. I gotta tell you as a Christian it is vital that I spend some time fighting demons and this game gives ample opportunity if only I had the courage to enter those darn Daedra shrines. But in all seriousness there is nothing like an open ended RPG. I have made myself to be a person with high sneaking abilities and uses a bow. This means I steal things and then hide and then attack things from far away without them noticing. Fun.

2- The Sims II
A far cry from the Ghostgate I have also begun reinstating some family life in The Sims. I developed a Patrick character who has decided to live the life of the politician (so true to form). I have married a nice lady from down the street and we had our first daughter who I named Nancy (for unknown reasons... well really I was having a hard time thinking and I cracked under the pressure). Life is good but its getting hectic and my wife wants to have another baby... time to build a second floor to the house and poor Patrick is getting so old. Well thats 'life'

3- Minesweeper
I've referenced this game before but if there are still mines out there waiting to be swept then we need to pick up our detectors and take them out.

4- Wii Sports
Made a return briefly at Kid's Fest this week. Always a big hit with the children.

And last but never least and likely not a surprise for the longterm reader....

5- Age of Empires 2

What more can I say. Classic.

This is all in responce to the lack of attention I had been given video games during my semester in school. Likely I will go back to my regular habits of maybe one game here and there... either way: Enjoying myself.

Patman the less than busy

If I sit calmly at my desk...

If I sit calmly at my desk my work will finish itself.

Hands folded in my lap. A bit of music playing. My computer on but no text opened. A curious grin lining my face. I sit and contemplate the finer things in life. All things seem finer with a paper or two to do. I could play a game, watch a show or even work for my church but this paper is priority. And for that reason I sit calmly at my desk.

Perhaps more effort should be taken to complete my work but I always was an idealist. It's past midnight I could always attempt to sleep calmly in my room and see if my tasks will complete themselves but that's really a pipe dream compared to my sitting calmly stratagem.

I may be going out on a limb here but I am confident in my ability to work less and achieve more. Perhaps making a "crappy graph" would capture what I am trying to do. And so I will sit calmly at my desk and my "crappy graph" will finish itself.

And there it is. I have reached a new blog-o-graphic low. Good night everybody.

Patman the Accomplished

Sleepless in Toronto

I know what you are thinking: "Wow! Just when I thought Pat was done with clever titles he comes up with something so original!" But hold your horses its actually a terrible title but I appreciate your enthusiasm.

2:37am- church in the morning, work in the evening and planning in the afternoon... yet here I am awake. I tried to sleep but couldn't.

I often wonder why I have bad sleep habits. It could be a lifetime of bad habits with sleeping leads to a total abandonment of all things. It could be that I just like staying up late. But I have come to the conclusion that it is often the time that I stop doing things, worrying about things, and get to blindly think about my life. It's for that reason that most of my introspective blog posts happen after 1.

No one expects anything from you at 1 am...

Oh, except maybe to sleep.

(Interesting thought: Yelling and Yawning in photographs are very similar... can you tell the difference?)

Pmtp

It has to be said

(This is a strange digression but someone has to say it)

Every Christmas my mother buys be and my sisters Archie comics for our stockings (which are more of a traditional gift than anything since I only read them when young). But in my efforts to not work I picked up the one form this Christmas and I just want to say...

Why doesn't Archie just stick with Betty?

Patman the Frustrated

People I lived with: #2 Andrew Thompson

(A note on above: It is always wise to post pictures of friends online particularly when that photograph is both a joke and never intended to be shown elsewher)

Now to business...

Andrew Thompson and I were roommates in 2004-2005. At the time we served as Residence Advisers for what was known in residence as 3 North. Andrew had been my previous RA and I was fortunate to have him as a partner. 3 North, under the guidance and direction of Andrew and I, followed the theme of "Where's the beef?" which was a spiritual search for depth in our relationship with Christ. The title was Andrew's idea. Andrew was still neater than me when it came to our room but he was a little more messy than Brad (I think I was a cleaner than the previous year too or at least I tried)

Important Info:
When: Sept 2004- April 2005
Where: Tyndale Residence, 3 North, room 314, ex. 2314.
Best features as a roommate*: Enjoyed late nights, pizza and movies (those three often went together), he had a car (although this isn't the top feature it is a good one), he was a much wiser man than I, "glory".
Worst Features as a roommate: Andrew worked nights at the Sheridan hotel from time to time, he was a better student than me, he also had a great ability of knowing exactly what I was doing wrong and informing me in a meaningful and engaging way (which although helpful is never easy).
Would I live with Andrew again? I would have to say yes. It went well for both of us. At this point Andrew is married and therefore it is unlikely that we would ever be roommates again.


So there you have it for Andrew Thompson.
Up next: A brief discussion on the PHOB-pad

Patman the Pat

*On the note of great features: Andrew also had an uncanny ability to trick people into thinking he was being genuine (a skill I quickly learned to see through and imitate). My favorite experience of this was a time when two keen people very impressed with their own knowledge base came into our room and struck a conversation with Andrew (attempting to win his admiration through how smart they were). Andrew listened for a while and eventually chimed in with "but what about the Hulah Mundai (a clearly fictitious document)?" And these fine gentlemen of intellectual prowess, rather than look the fools, engaged Andrew on the subject of the Hulah Mundai for a good ten- fifteen minutes. I meanwhile sat on my computer holding in laughter. Eventually Andrew gave up the ruse and these intellects never came back with something to share.

New Blog Trend #1

Well its paper writing season so I figure it is apt for me to distract myself with blogging. For this season I have decided to make my dedicated topic:

People that Pat has lived with and is living with.

It is a fairly short list but full of enough character that hopefully it will be enjoyable.

First on the agenda my first technical roommate: Brad Longard (Shown Left: stealing watch)

As my first roommate Brad suffered and rejoiced through that awkward stage of figuring out what it means to have a roommate. I was a slob. Brad was not. And that conveniently divided our room directly in half. Still to this day I remember being confident on which side of the room was mine.

Important Info:
1) When did we live together: Sept 2003- Sept 2004
2) Where: Tyndale Residence, Forth Floor, room 420, ex.2420
3) Best features as a roommate: Staying up late writing papers, watching 4 episodes of Seinfeld is mandatory before bed (in fact he introduced me to Seinfeld so I owe him much) and Chris Cartel (I will say no more).
4) Worst Features as a roommate: Had a girlfriend and therefore was never present, did better in school than me, too clean for my own good and he introduced me to Yanni with a desktop background of Yanni coming out of a pool saying "Hey Baby"
5) Would I live with Brad again? Yes but not as roommates (I think he would agree). (I would note that given the option of living with Brad but being his roommate versus not living with Brad at all I would choose: live as roommates)

So Brad was the first.

Patman the Pat

Next up: Andrew Thompson

Reflection on Ireland #2: This time with some Photos

In all fairness I haven't blogged because going away for two weeks in Ireland doesn't lend to significant blogging. Again being fair going away for two weeks of your life means that you have about two weeks of work to catch up on which again doesn't lend to blogging.



But being fair to others I think that I can still give reflections on Ireland (as long as the reader fully understands that these are reflections after the fact)






This reflection is on the value of good friends.

To be completely honest with you, because the internet is a place for complete honesty, the highlight of Ireland had little to do with geography. It is a stunningly beautiful country with amazing places to see, visit and kiss. But the real highlight of this trip was spending two weeks with my good friends Norman and Wendy.

If I was to look at my friendships I would say that a good ninety percent* of them took me years to develop trust, interest and love for one another. But once and a while you meet people that upon meeting you click and friendship is born on that very day. Perhaps friends at first sight. And Norman and Wendy are, to me, those kind of friends.

I appreciate their hospitality and their ability to put up with me for two weeks straight. I appreciate their sense of humor and that they get mine. I appreciate their insights into life. I appreciate the fact that although we met at camp they were able to get past my keen ability to separate myself from people and care for me.

We shared some very good times together and because of it we now have a common link for all time. They are welcome at my doorstep at any hour of the night and I know I am welcome at theirs.

Seal iontach le chéile

Patman the loved.

*Feel free to throw yourself into that 10% of quick friends friends because I love you

First Reflection on Ireland

Well it has been about four days. First of all I will note I have spent zero Euros so far, which is an exciting premise. Second, I am deeply aware of the good friends I have here, particularly in Norman and Wendy, without whom I could have never come or at least would have never come.

I want to take a brief moment to describe a subtle moment of my trip so far. Being that I am taking part in the Irish lives of Norman and Wendy, who still have things like church commitments and classes to attend, for just a little bit, I have spent sometime engage people who I never would have on just a vacation. Most particular of those engagements was a walk a took the other day with Farren, Wendy's Rector (Pastor).

Wendy needed to go talk to someone and Norm was in class so Farren offered to take me on a walk to the peer. We never did make it to the peer but rather we went up Killiney hill. There was nothing particularly touristy about the walk, except perhaps the stunning view of Dublin City (photos to come at another date). But what I really appreciated was the Irish-ness of the whole experience. Rolling hills, greenery everywhere, and talking with a chap, in what I imagine as a typical Irish jacket and cap, about the little things in life. The whole thing screamed to me that I was experiencing Irish life and it was gorgeous.

This has been an excerpt of Patman's journey to Ireland so far if you wish to here more please turn the cassette to side B.

Patman

Ireland

I am in Ireland and blogging.

I have officially reached "international journalist" status.

Patman the International

9

Occasionally I catch onto things before the people around me do. Often I hear the word from one friend and just relay the message to others taking the glorious credit for being a 'hipster' as they say.

In this case I caught wind of something I think look phenomenal without the aid of those aware of the cultural tidal wave.

The movie is called "9" and it is based on a short made by Shane Acker. It looks like a pretty good fantasy and contains one of my favorite story settings: Post-Apocalyptic. It follows the story of these rag doll type beings that are trying to live in this post-apocalyptic world.

Anyways I like the trailer and here is hoping.

Patman the 9th

Oh! It also has Tim Burton as the producer so... yeh.

An internet fad is born...

I stole it. I changed it. It started here today:

15 Thing- Untrue Edition

The way this works is that you write 15 things about yourself that are completely and utterly a lie... perhaps they are close to the truth perhaps they are far from it. Either way you write 15 made up facts about yourself and then tag 25 people who matter to you or don't it doesn't matter... tag them then they have to come up with 15 lies about themselves and then tag 25 of their own people.

This will create an internet fad.

1. I have had a nose job.
2. I am a really big fan of the original 25 things note game
3. I have already gained significant fame in the realm of Underwater Synchronized swimming
4. I am often called "Squishy" by those closest to me...
5. There is a place in my room that I call heaven and it is not located where you think
6. I attend a school that is located entirely below ground
7. I am not a Canadian Citizen but rather come from a nation not known by western civilization
8. I consistently fail at being awesome
9. Lies are harder to come up with then I thought
10. I am famous on the internet
11. I firmly believe that if purple was a flavor it would likely be raisin not grape
12. I voted for Barak Obama
13. I have often longed to live in the year 2050 (someday!!!)
14. Facebook is my life
15. I sincerely desire this to become an internet fad.

(Note this is the inaugural run of "15 things - untrue edition" help me start a fad!)



Please take this... use it on facebook... send it out to all the people who do these things and lets piggy back on the popularity of other fads and see where this goes.

Patman the liar

In honor of St. Valentine

Today I played a game of age.

To Err is Human... Ug

Right now I am trying to will my will in the world or at least over a situation here and there. This clearly puts me in a place of great peace, joy and humility. Wait. Scratch that and reverse it. This clearly puts me in a place of great un-peace, un-joy and un-humility.

Apparently my heart (known for its uncanny ability to strive for its own benefit) is not focused very outward, is not too concerned with reality and sorry to say it is not looking to Christ. Its bad news.

In my head I am convinced that I am focusing on the wrong things, looking to the wrong places for answer and walking a dangerous line. But I also seem to great such great pleasure out of following my heart on this one. It feels good.

Needless to say I am finding myself far too human these days...

May Christ come...

Patman the Human

I failed a course the other day.

This actually happened.

I went to get my transcript the other day, most particularly because I was trying to figure out how long I was still to be in school, I got both my University transcript and I got my Seminary transcript. And there it was... an F.

It is true that from time to time I am a lazy student. I often slack off, work less then I should, read just enough to pass and disregard proper sleep patterns rather then work consistently all semester. But I don't fail. And this one took me for a surprise because out of all my courses this was the one I never wanted to have to do again: Spiritual Formation. (I would like to add that I am a big believer in spiritual formation but for a class in my Mdiv it had more work, reading and daily assignments than can be healthily done by a slacker student... and I would probably argue a normal student) That being said to achieve in the course I needed to work hard and get things in which I was confident I did.

To make a long story of worry and fear short I will say that it was an error. Somewhere one of my papers had gotten lost or not marked and never counted toward my grade. I was able to hand in a new copy and pulled off a C+. Not a great grade but I didn't fail.

Patman the Reasonably Successful

I'm allowed one...

Today, as are many, I am proud of my once University.

Look here

Oh and I went to Tyndale.

Patman the Tyndalien

35 Days!

As you may or may not recall I was fortunate enough to meet some cool Irish people at camp this summer. Very funny and very cool, we obviously hit it off right away. And to that end in 35 days I am going to Ireland.

This has been in the works since about July 5th, 2008 and all plans are coming to fruition. Honestly I keep expecting something to go wrong or for my Irish friends to message me and call the whole thing off... but that's only because it all seems too good to be true.

Either way I am very excited and not just because I get to visit another country, and not just because that country is Ireland and although a huge selling point its not just because I get to see Norm and Wendy again. It's the fact that I have planned nothing. I am off to a foreign country without my own itinerary. It's a mystery because Norm and Wendy have been given free reign to show me whatever they want and to take us where ever their hearts desire.

Its a grand adventure but I truly trust these friends. And for all I care we can hang out in the middle of nowhere and it would be a great trip because I get to see my dear friends.

Let me conclude by saying that I am excited. Surprise!

The Irish
(I realise that I am very Scottish in this picture but I'm sure you understand)

Patman the Irish

Back to the Future

One of my favourite movies.

Also as a statement it also a very impressive insight to my life.

I really like my day to day life. Sure, if described to others it comes across boring, repetitious and maybe even pointless but it is the subtleties of my day that keep me enraptured. But I have to admit the future often scares me. There are always extra questions...

Why am I really in school?
What am I going to do after school?
What about this whole OSAP thing... do I really have to pay that back?
It's how much?!?

It is worrisome. I like my day to day life but I always come back to the future and wonder.

I was fortunate to get some news over the last little while that gives me a rare opportunity to truly live in the moment. Try it out... its pretty nice.

Perhaps someday I'll go back to the future and wonder but I think that's a little too forward of thinking for me today.

Mount and Blade

Underrated, over simplified and loads of fun: Mount and Blade.

RPG, First person shooter (well swordsman), open ended quests. Its great. What it lacks in graphics it makes up in awesomeness.

Thanks to Chris Clements for the tip.

Patman the Lord of the Nords

The Library

In all surprises I went to the library today. It was pretty bold because nobody approaches the library until the first paper is due which I can only assume is sometime in April. It is a fascinating place most particularly because of the grand accumulation of knowledge and the subtle tyranny of Library law (Shhh!).

Well I read books. I read a book on small group ministry. I am trying to build my small youth ministry through the art of small group ministry. Since at this point, by definition, it is a small group. This book, on small group ministry for youth groups, was speaking with wisdom on the subject and I was planning to sign it out but I left my student card on my desk. So now I have no books. And I ran from the library in embarrassment.

Patman the Bookless

Prehaps it is unfair to say this...

I've gotten the sense that somewhere along the line people got it into their head that marriage was the end all and be all of life. That for the twenty-something marriage is a key goal if not the key goal if you expect to be:

a) taken seriously in life
b) make something of your life
c) be happy

I happen to know a fair amount of married people who I would never take seriously, who seem to have, through marriage, amounted to nothing more than before and, here's the real kicker, are unhappy. We all know that none of these expectations about marriage are true but as is traditional with humanity we tend to say one thing and act in a different way. I just want to rant for a moment and tell anyone who acts this way to open your eyes. The bible takes no stance in preferential treatment of marriage or the single life.

If you would like to get married fine. I personally would like to get married. However if my life's goal, my daily focus, my reason for being, or my source of strength is marriage or my significant other I have to say that somewhere along the way I may have blurred the line between right relationship and idolatry (yes your spouse can be an idol in your life). I, an obviously skilled marriage and family counselor and well versed bachelor, would recommend stepping back from your life and resetting your priorities...

or at least shut up about it.

Patman the Single

A reasonable lesson from class...

Today I went to my last class of the week on curriculum development and evaluation. I was pretty excited for the class because I like talking about these things. We discussed syllabus things and reasons for attending the class in the first part. Then we went to Kairos chapel. Then we came back to discuss the purpose of the church.

The professor taught a very simple pneumatic about the purpose of the church. It can be remembered because the church is the bride of Christ it can also be called the WIFE

For the church to be fulfilling its purpose in the world it needs to:

W- Worship- bringing honor to God, praising Him and what not

I- Instruct- Discipleship, equipping, preparing and developing the body of Christ

F- Fellowship- gathering as the body, community, sharing life together

E- Express- Witness, making disciples, sharing the message and living outwardly our faith


I think it is a handy little trick to remember the purpose of the church.

I will leave you with one final thought that was given in class that "Not every ministry in your church needs to cover every area of WIFE but rather the ministries of the church need to together fulfill the purposes of the church and together make WIFE happen."

I like it.

Patman the Thought provoked.

This is me in class happy about curriculum (sans mustache)
Photo may or may not actually include me

And they prayed for my immortal soul...

I learned something about my past today. Let me explain it to you in a funny story.

Many years ago I lived in a unique land. It was a hallway. But it wasn't just any hallway because within it lived different people from a broad perspective of Christian backgrounds. I was one of those people.

Now it came to pass in that land that some people believed certain activities were of the devil or demonic in nature. (Its important to note that I am not an expert in identifying which activities are of the devil and which ones are not) Either way certain people had made that decision.

I was aware of it. I also knew they liked to pray for these people and the obvious pitfalls there were falling into. Which was very nice of them to do.

Now for this story to make sense you need to know one more thing about my life in residence. I introduced the game "Settlers of Catan" to the Tyndale community. Its a fun game where you produce a small settlement on the new found island of Catan. You roll dice, collect resources and build buildings. Eventually someone builds enough to get the points to win. Its fun. Its harmless. I like it.

I also used to have a sign on my door welcoming fans of the game to knock on my door and I would introduce them to the game or play it with them. It was my way of getting to know people and early on I had no one else to play with.

Well according to a reliable source one day these two facts crossed paths. During a casual prayer walk for people in the school they prayed for people and their magic cards, for people and their Dugeons and Dragons and they got to my door... and prayed for me and my "Settlers of Catan" and my immortal soul.

Patman the Pat

The week of firsts...

It seems that when you step away from life for a month everything starts back up in the same week.

First day of classes: Systematic Theology II
Victor Shepherd lectured on the council of Trent, particularly the conclusions they had on justification, for three hours. It was riveting in the way that digesting classic documents of the church is riveting. Interpret that how you will.

I meet with friends for dinner to plan community for the first time this week.

I go to my first pastor meeting.

I go to my first sunday school prayer meeting.

I go to the first "social gathering that will not be named" session.

I have other classes which begin

I am going to have sushi for the first time since I returned to Toronto.

Patman I

Ps Age of Empires is back with a vengence again. Its a timeless classic. New favorite civ: the goths.

It all starts tomorrow...

I know myself pretty well. I like to think that I am fairly self-aware and that I know what to expect from me on a day to day basis but tomorrow I've broken that pattern (although I wouldn't blame me for it) and I start what I've jokingly referred to as "The Great Experiment."

I've been a member of a church, attended semi-regularly my whole life, watched people come and go, read books on the subject and seen some of the church's strengths and some of the church's weaknesses. I'll admit the church scares me.

So tomorrow morning, through the encouragement of the Spirit, the gift of Jesus and the grace of the Father, I take up a position in the church. Ok I've been working all week but tomorrow is the first Sunday and that somehow makes it the big moment.

I have rarely proclaimed that I would want to work for a church as a pastor or anything like that. And to be honest it is because the church has great potential to hurt. I believe in community, I love the idea of getting together with others but along the way people get cut so deep that the wounds last for a long time. I don't want to get hurt. Even more so I don't want to be responsible for the hurting. For that reason I am scared of the church and in that it becomes the great experiment but God wants me to try it.

I will try because mixed within the potential to hurt is the opportunity to heal. I want to act upon my fear and take up the cause for healing. Aware of what can be lost, aware of the harm I could do to others I need to step up and try. That is why I'm going to church tomorrow as...

Patman the Youth Leader

Ps Perhaps I will 'do' not 'try' because, in the words of Yoda, “Do or do not... there is no try.”

Dave Kentie will not win

On Jan 5 2009 David Kentie, local blogger, decided to take it upon himself to call upon me for testimony on the diplomatic events that transpired at 493 Cummer Ave on Saturday Nov. 29th 2008. Mr Kentie describes his blog as "A plea for Patman to post on the not so recent Diplomacy" This so called plea looks more like a demand from a dictator like regime.Known Blogger- David Kentie

I, for one, do not react well to demands and I will not give in to the demands of David D. Kentie because I do not negotiate with Bloggers.

Patman the Unmoved

Here's the thing...

This is the thing I hate the most...

When someone is right and I am wrong. By this I don't mean that someone knows a piece of trivia or practical information that I don't. By this I don't mean the reward of gloating that a person receives at the expense of me. It isn't as simple as bragging rights and it has nothing to do with who is right but more to do with how I am wrong.

This all started a month ago when I decided I watched too much tv and that I should probably replace my viewing with a sermon or something relevant to the real world. For that reason I got into podcasts. At the time one of my professors was particularly into Andy Stanley and recommended his podcast on leadership. So I, of course, jumped right in. I got the leadership podcasts and the weekly sunday services Andy Stanley does at North Point Ministries.

Its at this point that my desires, my wants, my greed, my obvious flaws tell me that that was a big mistake. And I, with my most conflicted self, want to claim it was a mistake. It wasn't a mistake because it lead me to somewhere bad. It was a mistake because it led me where I didn't want to go. I have a rythm to my life. I have a normalcy in my day to day life. It seems that even the things that I have to seek forgiveness for have a place in the normals of my day. And it shames me to confess that I was ok with that. Once more I was ok with that.

And so I desperately needed to hear what Andy Stanley was saying to his congregation. He asked the simplest question and opened a door into my life that I don't think will be easily closed. He says that when it comes to making decisions in our lives we often ask the wrong questions. We ask "How far can I go without getting caught?" "What is legal?" "How can I live for Jesus and still get the most from the experiences of life?" "How much can I do without feeling the negative effects of it on my life?" "How close can I get to the edge without falling off?" "How close can I get to sin without actually sinning?" And this approach is flawed. It is asking the wrong question.

Based on Ephesians 5:15-17 Andy Stanley suggests a new question: What is the wise thing for me to do? In the light of my past, and in light of what I want from my future what is the wise thing for me to do?

How can I ignore that question? How can I not look at my life and ask it? I'm not happy with this question one bit because it forces me out of my comforts, my simple pleasures and it really forces me to choose. And it is taking me where I don't want to go.

So you know what? Andy Stanley is right and I am wrong. He doesn't win a prize, he isn't better than me, and he gains nothing from being right. I, however, gain something. Although at my heart of hearts I may have known I was wrong, I can no longer escape it.

I am wrong. I'm sorry. Forgive me. Happy New Year...

Patman the unwise

PS this is a poor summary. Go to your podcast search engine, find North Point Ministries and listen to "The Best Question Ever" to get the real thing.