It all starts tomorrow...

I know myself pretty well. I like to think that I am fairly self-aware and that I know what to expect from me on a day to day basis but tomorrow I've broken that pattern (although I wouldn't blame me for it) and I start what I've jokingly referred to as "The Great Experiment."

I've been a member of a church, attended semi-regularly my whole life, watched people come and go, read books on the subject and seen some of the church's strengths and some of the church's weaknesses. I'll admit the church scares me.

So tomorrow morning, through the encouragement of the Spirit, the gift of Jesus and the grace of the Father, I take up a position in the church. Ok I've been working all week but tomorrow is the first Sunday and that somehow makes it the big moment.

I have rarely proclaimed that I would want to work for a church as a pastor or anything like that. And to be honest it is because the church has great potential to hurt. I believe in community, I love the idea of getting together with others but along the way people get cut so deep that the wounds last for a long time. I don't want to get hurt. Even more so I don't want to be responsible for the hurting. For that reason I am scared of the church and in that it becomes the great experiment but God wants me to try it.

I will try because mixed within the potential to hurt is the opportunity to heal. I want to act upon my fear and take up the cause for healing. Aware of what can be lost, aware of the harm I could do to others I need to step up and try. That is why I'm going to church tomorrow as...

Patman the Youth Leader

Ps Perhaps I will 'do' not 'try' because, in the words of Yoda, “Do or do not... there is no try.”