Saturday, December 20, 2008


I've decided to try a new method of occasional blogging based on making up stories that are certainly not real and are not non-fiction. It is what I will call "Un-Non-Fiction" and while I was thinking about it I came upon this observation.

Why is fiction called fiction and non-fiction called non-fiction?

First let's get our definitions straight:

Fiction: A story or writing that is not real

Non-Fiction: A story or writing that is real

These are the standards by which we describe books but why is it that the things that are not real (ie fiction) took precedence to things that are real (ie non-fiction) to the extent that real writing is described as anti-fake writing... it seems odd.

For this reason I am titling my new segment Un-Non- Fiction.

Non-Patman the Pat

And yes this idea was inspired by reading the works of John Hodgeman... I don't dare think I will be as good but it will be fun to try.

Also the guy in the video about making money on blogging must clearly be an expert because he is like 16... and therefore he knows.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Just when I thought it was over...

Well the Christmas season has come and its time to celebrate once again that joyous time of year when we reflect on that special day... the last day of the semester and no more school (for three weeks). That's right, it is no longer time read books, study or write papers. But just when I thought it was over: BAM! I started learning things again. Let me share with you the special things I have been learning since I came home to North Bay.

First from the TV: I learned that after "half a decade in the Disney vault The Little Mermaid 2: Return to the Sea" is being released to the general public. I was shocked. Has it really been half a decade? That seems like such a long time. Oh Wait! That is only FIVE YEARS its not that long. But I suppose its special to finally have this treasure released on DVD. Of course it looses its magic and wonder when it was a straight to DVD movie in the first place. Either way I know what is on my Christmas list this year: Something Else!

Second from reading: I actually learned this from the TV but then I started reading it. John Hodgeman (the PC guy in the "I'm a Mac and I'm a PC commercials") has released a new book. You may know his previous title "An Almanac of Complete World Knowledge Compiled with Instructive Annotation and Arranged in Useful Order by myself, John Hodgman, a Professional Writer, in The Areas of My Expertise, which Include: Matters Historical, Matters Literary, Matters Cryptozoological, Hobo Matters, Food, Drink & Cheese (a Kind of Food), Squirrels & Lobsters & Eels, Haircuts, Utopia, What Will Happen in the Future, and Most Other Subjects" (Known more commonly as "The Areas of My Expertise") His new book is called "For Your Consideration, The Firms of Dutton & Riverhead Books Present in the English Language: A Further Compendium of Complete World Knowledge in "The Areas Of My Expertise," Assembled and Illumined by Me, John Hodgman, A Famous Minor Television Personality, Offering More Information Than You Require On Subjects as Diverse as: The Past (as There Is Always More of It), The Future (as There Is Still Some Left), All of the Presidents of the United States, The Secrets of Hollywood, Gambling, The Sport of the Asthmatic Man (Including: Hermit-Crab Racing), Strange Encounters with Aliens, How to Buy a Computer, How to Cook an Owl, and Most Other Subjects"

I like these books.

These are just a few of the many things I am learning during the time period in which I not supposed to be learning anything. Darn you minor intelligence... one of these days I'll get you.

Patman the Pat

Oh Yeh I also learned that Batman Died!

Tuesday, December 09, 2008


Papers? Done! Exams? Done! Break? Amen

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Distraction #6: An idea from Phil Kay

I was in the halls of Tyndale yesterday and I ran into Mr. Kay. He said he had caught up on my blog and was looking forward to more distractions. We laughed and joked about various ways that you could distract yourself from anything. It was here that we realized that a distraction from writing papers does not need to be actually productive but just needs to give the illusion of productivity. For instance playing a video game gives you the illusion of productivity because when asked what you were doing you could respond "Saving the known universe."

It was here that Phil gave me a suggestion that is today's distraction: De-frag your hard drive. It is likely one of the most automatic processes that you could use to give the illusion of productivity.

If asked "What are you doing?"
You can respond: "I am De-fragging my hard drive."
You could even go on to describe that: "Perhaps it will need me to respond to some thing right away and so I wouldn't dare do anything else but observe this dynamic process. I don't want a computer to run my life so I must be there to run my computer. Sadly I will have to postpone my paper writing for just a little bit but when the de-frag is done we will be raring to go."

So be distracted and a special thanks to Phil Kay for the distraction #6.

Patman the Pat

An Extra Distracting Game: According to Google one of these people are Phil Kay... which one is the real Phil Kay... You Decide?