Thursday, July 30, 2009

I am Second

Casually surfing the net. Reading things. Watching things. I found an interesting website the other day.

A collection of video testimonies of famous people or just people who love Jesus. Each one explaining why Jesus is first and they are second.

I am really down with the idea.

Patman the second

Monday, July 20, 2009

New Segment: Dating Advice from cultures biggest strike outs

I was watching "The Phantom of the Opera" yesterday or the day before and I realized that one can learn much from the Phantom in terms of how to approach a lady and win a date and perhaps that great joy of marriage. From observation one can only learn what is not recommended but knowing what not to do is half the battle.

Therefore I give to you...

If you want to impress the ladies like the phantom does...

1) Prey on the Naive.
Naive people are dumb that is why they are naive. Therefore you can convince them of all sorts of things that are both not true and highly unlikely.

2) Prey on preexisting errors within the person:
With Christine it was the whole my dad died and he promised to send me an angel. Become that angel and you win.

3) Become useful in their lives
The phantom taught singing which was a straight line to the heart.

4) Sing:
Somehow when a guy sings, and sings well he can sing whatever he wants to sing without creeping out the lady... I mean really try speaking the song "Music of the Night" to a girl and see how that goes...

5) (and this is where he falls off the deep end) Build a replica mannequin of the girl you desire, put a wedding dress on it and show it to the lady.
No comment

At this point if everything falls apart the Phantom recommends developing a plot to kill everyone and force the lady to love you forever.

I hope this give some fresh perspective to the dating scene out there. Good luck and God speed.

Patman the hopeless

Note: If you need a good mannequin designer I know a guy.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

The Back of the Line Club

Once and a while I think I have a good idea. For it to be a good idea it doesn't have to be useful, worth something or even beneficial. It does however have to waste time and be entertaining to me and perhaps you.

My most recent good idea is the Back of the Line Club.

At camp we have a long line during our meals and last year we found that as senior staff we are stuck at the back for about 20 minutes on a good day. So we joked about having a back of the line club. At the time we jokingly called to order, checked old business (of which there was none), checked new business (of which there was none) and then adjourned. It was funny and didn't mean too much.

However this year Jim and I have decided to up the ante. We now have officially formed the Back of the Line club. We have meetings at every dinner meal and record those meetings in our handbook. The meetings are generally a discussion of policy and procedure within the group. Further we have expanded ourselves building new membership and establishing an alumni.

It has been one of the best ways to pass idle time I have ever encountered. Tonight we welcome (hopefully) three new members and applications are coming in daily.

Patman the President of the Back of the Line Club
"We Got Your Back"