Un-Non-Fiction

I've decided to try a new method of occasional blogging based on making up stories that are certainly not real and are not non-fiction. It is what I will call "Un-Non-Fiction" and while I was thinking about it I came upon this observation.

Why is fiction called fiction and non-fiction called non-fiction?

First let's get our definitions straight:

Fiction: A story or writing that is not real

Non-Fiction: A story or writing that is real

These are the standards by which we describe books but why is it that the things that are not real (ie fiction) took precedence to things that are real (ie non-fiction) to the extent that real writing is described as anti-fake writing... it seems odd.

For this reason I am titling my new segment Un-Non- Fiction.

Non-Patman the Pat

And yes this idea was inspired by reading the works of John Hodgeman... I don't dare think I will be as good but it will be fun to try.

Also the guy in the video about making money on blogging must clearly be an expert because he is like 16... and therefore he knows.

Just when I thought it was over...

Well the Christmas season has come and its time to celebrate once again that joyous time of year when we reflect on that special day... the last day of the semester and no more school (for three weeks). That's right, it is no longer time read books, study or write papers. But just when I thought it was over: BAM! I started learning things again. Let me share with you the special things I have been learning since I came home to North Bay.

First from the TV: I learned that after "half a decade in the Disney vault The Little Mermaid 2: Return to the Sea" is being released to the general public. I was shocked. Has it really been half a decade? That seems like such a long time. Oh Wait! That is only FIVE YEARS its not that long. But I suppose its special to finally have this treasure released on DVD. Of course it looses its magic and wonder when it was a straight to DVD movie in the first place. Either way I know what is on my Christmas list this year: Something Else!

Second from reading: I actually learned this from the TV but then I started reading it. John Hodgeman (the PC guy in the "I'm a Mac and I'm a PC commercials") has released a new book. You may know his previous title "An Almanac of Complete World Knowledge Compiled with Instructive Annotation and Arranged in Useful Order by myself, John Hodgman, a Professional Writer, in The Areas of My Expertise, which Include: Matters Historical, Matters Literary, Matters Cryptozoological, Hobo Matters, Food, Drink & Cheese (a Kind of Food), Squirrels & Lobsters & Eels, Haircuts, Utopia, What Will Happen in the Future, and Most Other Subjects" (Known more commonly as "The Areas of My Expertise") His new book is called "For Your Consideration, The Firms of Dutton & Riverhead Books Present in the English Language: A Further Compendium of Complete World Knowledge in "The Areas Of My Expertise," Assembled and Illumined by Me, John Hodgman, A Famous Minor Television Personality, Offering More Information Than You Require On Subjects as Diverse as: The Past (as There Is Always More of It), The Future (as There Is Still Some Left), All of the Presidents of the United States, The Secrets of Hollywood, Gambling, The Sport of the Asthmatic Man (Including: Hermit-Crab Racing), Strange Encounters with Aliens, How to Buy a Computer, How to Cook an Owl, and Most Other Subjects"

I like these books.

These are just a few of the many things I am learning during the time period in which I not supposed to be learning anything. Darn you minor intelligence... one of these days I'll get you.

Patman the Pat

Oh Yeh I also learned that Batman Died!

So...

Papers? Done! Exams? Done! Break? Amen

Distraction #6: An idea from Phil Kay

I was in the halls of Tyndale yesterday and I ran into Mr. Kay. He said he had caught up on my blog and was looking forward to more distractions. We laughed and joked about various ways that you could distract yourself from anything. It was here that we realized that a distraction from writing papers does not need to be actually productive but just needs to give the illusion of productivity. For instance playing a video game gives you the illusion of productivity because when asked what you were doing you could respond "Saving the known universe."

It was here that Phil gave me a suggestion that is today's distraction: De-frag your hard drive. It is likely one of the most automatic processes that you could use to give the illusion of productivity.

If asked "What are you doing?"
You can respond: "I am De-fragging my hard drive."
You could even go on to describe that: "Perhaps it will need me to respond to some thing right away and so I wouldn't dare do anything else but observe this dynamic process. I don't want a computer to run my life so I must be there to run my computer. Sadly I will have to postpone my paper writing for just a little bit but when the de-frag is done we will be raring to go."

So be distracted and a special thanks to Phil Kay for the distraction #6.

Patman the Pat


An Extra Distracting Game: According to Google one of these people are Phil Kay... which one is the real Phil Kay... You Decide?

This distraction (#5) will surprise you.

Blogging

Its just that simple. Sure blogging is another form of writing but it is free from the maticulous needs of the schoolarly world like grammar and spelling. Break thusly free into the writing break that is blogging.

Patman the Blogged Down in Paper work...

33 to go... very distracted week.

Easy Distraction 4: Find a Series and Watch it!

This distraction is one of my favorites and forces me into many late nights.

What you do is search through your memory, talk to your friends, or search the internet to see what TV shows have existed and you have yet to watch. Then you choose one that appeals to you and you begin to watch the entire series. This can be done through the magic of DVDs or internet streaming video.

Now this may seem like a lot of work but if you find the right show and the quickest means of watching it you will never work on papers again.

Recently, that is to say over the last month, I have enjoyed watching the entire series of Hell's Kitchen starring Gordon Ramsay (via Youtube). It kept me from work, sleep and general enjoyment of life.

An average TV show will waste about 20 hours a week if you let it. Do let it.

Patman the Pat

Essay Distraction 3: Travian

It may seem like video games and games are common on this list but that is because I find it most distracting to play a game.

Travian is somewhere between a realtime strategy game and a turn based strategy game. It is free and online. Basically you sign in and you have a city which produces resources which you spend on development of your city and then empire. But everything you do takes time. For instance I was upgrading my academy today and it took 3 hours. Which meant I couldn't do anything else for about three hours.

This game is ideal for distracting you from paper writing because it is a very quick distraction but satifying enough to make you feel like you did something other than writing your paper and it also lasts a really long time so you can think about it, plan and even monitor your game without losing alot of time.

I would give this about a 5-10 minute distraction every hour (depending how you use it).

Patman the Pat

Essay Distraction 2: Create a holiday

I wouldn't say that I created this holiday. I was an active participant, I was present through all celebrations and I made a fool of myself for it but I love it. Yes folks yesterday was Manwich Fest 2008.

I feel this is a perfectly acceptable way of distracting yourself from paper writing because it feels legitimate but it is clearly not a real holiday.

Here are some elements of Manwich Fest that will give you an example of how to make a holiday.

1) Make sure others celebrate it:
I am under the impression that Dan and Brad celebrated this holiday in Toronto and Halifax respectively.

2) Bring others along:
Both Paul and Danielle joined me for Manwich Fest.

3) Create liturgy:
Brad wrote this poem on the Facebook event last year and I have read it before the dining begins:

Manwich Manwich please unite
Our manly souls for now apart
Bright us together for just one night
And stir the hamburger of our heart

To spring forth in song and dance
As polka occasions the chance
Until again we will all meet
For the occasion of meat.

4) Create rituals:
We dance.

5) Regale people in tales of previous celebrations of your holiday:
Paul asked about Manwich and I told him the stories. It warmed my heart.

6) Have a Facebook event that is public:
Facebook is key to being in community and putting something on facebook makes it real. So make it an event and invite friends. This may confuse people but its ok.

7) Take pictures:
Having pictures allow for credibility.

8) Get food involved:
Everyone likes food. Plus the time it takes to prepare is time well spent.

This event was an easy way of wasting 3-4 hours of paper writing. Try it.

Pat-manwich the Pat

P. S. I have 38 pages left.

A new series...

I recall earlier I was commenting on the different types of blog but I have a new series to introduce (which means I will either return to other series periodically or never again).

The new series is "Things to do while writing papers or rather not writing papers."

This series will focus on the thing that I find to do while trying to avoid or take a much needed (debatable) break from papers.

Today's entry: Battle for Wesnoth.


This game was discovered by Chris Clements last year during the paper writing season. It was an instant hit amongst the paper writing scene. It is a turn based strategy game that you can download for free because it is open source.

Above: An image of gameply

It has multiplayer functions and some wicked campaigns. Since I was writing papers last night (and now) I brought it back from its un-used status, updated it and I'm deeply entrenched in a campaign called: "The Rise of Wesnoth" isn't this exciting! Some people may look at this game and wonder if the graphics are just terrible and to some extent it is true. However, the style of the game lends to this sort of late 90s feel and what it may lose in graphics it makes up in gameplay. Its fun and easy and great.

Anyways if you are looking for something to do beside writing papers I recommend Battle for Wesnoth.

And the weeks went by...

So here I am November 14th. I sorta missed bloging daily for a bit in there... but I had an excuse I was spiritually retreating and vision casting for Camp Norland. More on that later.

I noticed this week that it was November, well half way through November. I also realised that I had6 papers left to write, which seemed like an excessive amount, and I imagine it is because 3 out of the 6 are for one course and really what kind of course has 3 papers due between the 20th of November and 10th of December.

However, I am not here to complain... I am here to avoiding working on said papers. It turns out I have no drive to do them. This poses many problems the worst of which is failing in light of doing no work (for that reason I will avoid that end result).

So now starts my official countdown pages to go til finished writing: 51

51! wow for six papers that seems low. Nevermind it'll be easy.

I bought a nice camera

In the summer I bought a nice camera... but after the summer I rarely have time to use it. So I am going to try to take pictures and go DDOI on us all... every so often anyways.

For today I present: Quarters at angles.
Inspired by: quarters on my dresser, boredom




Patman the Photographic

The Banj.

Cool people shorten words to make them more awesome. Thus, this post on the Banjo is titled "The Banj"

I've posted on the banjo before. I have referenced the banjo before. And likely, sometime in the future I will once more discuss the banjo.

I really like the banjo. I always found it intriguing and cool but until I picked it up and realized just how subtle it is as an instrument and as I spend more time listening to the world of banjo the more I want to get better.

Here is a tour of great songs on the banjo:

Dueling Banjos
The most popular culture reference to the banjo known to man. It is a scene from the movie "Deliverance." Deliverance is a movie that has very little to do with bluegrass or the banjo but will forever be known for it.

Steve Martin
Steve Martin plays the banjo. He actually plays it well. In my last post there is a link to a great video of him. Here I will post a clip of him playing with Earl Scruggs (one of the best banjo players of all time, to the extent that there is a method of playing the banjo named after him called Scruggs).


Sufjan Stevens
This was the place where my love of banjo began. I'll admit I would have never touched a banjo if I didn't hear it in this context. It brought something that seemed... well... hokie... and disguised it within the college music scene. The following song is "the transfiguration." I like it.


Bela Fleck
Perhaps the best banjo player ever. Be amazed. Be intrigued. I present Bela Fleck.



Yes that is right the last clip was classical music. It just blows my mind. The banjo is not just for bluegrass anymore. It is cool.

Patman the Hick-ish

Its almost November...

...and now I'm playing Christmas music.

Technically I am playing Sufjan's christmas albums which are, in my opinion and others, universal music.

I wanted to share with you the wonderful world of Sufjan because his music often hits the spot. "What spot?" you may ask. The ear. So listen to Sufjan. He taught me to love the banjo so that has to tell you something.


Patman the Signing off

Cop-out

...


Patman the intentionally wasting internet space.

Residential

When I was a university student at Tyndale I lived in residence. For two years I was fortunate enough to be involved in Student Leadership as an RA or Residence adviser. It has been about two more years since I was last serving in this position. However, today I had the opportunity to sit down with the current guy RAs and discuss what my experience was like and what theirs has been like as well.

I have to admit I was a little nervous at first because I didn't really know who was going to be there, I remember what it was like to have to go to various meetings and I thought that I had very little to say. But as we began I found myself reminiscing the good old days and even missing the job.

I was most fortunate to be asked a question about the challenges of working in a diverse team that deals with intimate details of male and female life. It was presented that sometimes its hard because some of the things that we may experience as guys are hard to share with our female teamates. I agreed that the challenges were there and it is difficult sometimes to balance both the desire to be transparent with the importantance of boundaries. I was reminded of one of my favorite stories as an RA so I thought I would share it with you, dear reader.

It came to pass in my early days as an RA that events transpired that caused hurt amidst our community. This hurt happened within the male dorm and it was decided that it was appropriate to discuss the event without the female RAs being a part of that discussion. They knew something had happened but were asked to leave for our conversation. They left and we began discussing the issue. When we had finished our conversation we left to go our separate ways and as we looked out the window, into the courtyard, we saw our dear females RAs praying for our community, for us and for the event that transpired. It was beautiful and so we joined in.

That was a special event in my Tyndale experience. One which will likely form my understanding of community, prayer and compassion for much of my life.

It was a pleasure to talk with the RA guys today. It was neat to see people, much like myself four years ago, passionate for serving Tyndale and working their way through what that means. Tyndale is certainly blessed by them.

I read a book instead.

I was going to blog but I read a book instead. The book I read was "Soul Searching the Millennials" by Dave Overholt and James Penner. No coincidence I have a test on that book tomorrow. Sorry Blog-o-sphere.

Patman the well read.

Heroic Blog Patterns Part 2

For this segment of my blogging on blogging I would like to focus on the least creative aspects of blogging. They take it upon themselves to post what others have already posted I call this category of blogging: Re-posting... yup... re-posting.

#1: Re-posting:Video

In this category rather than writing something new you spent your time watching videos on YouTube, suddenly felt guilty remembering your abandon blog and thought "If I just post a video I enjoy from YouTube then its like I did something of value"

Elements of Re-posting:Video

1- Post a video from somewhere else

Variations:
Post the video and comment
Comment and post the video

Examples from my blog: Lewis Feels it
Examples on others blogs: Nyssa Clements, Mark Smith

#-2 Re-posting: Audio

In this category you do the exact same as above but use an audio file instead of video. This format is less popular than video (mainly because video killed the radio star)

Example from others: Mark Smith

#-3 Re-posting: Quote

This category is very common in the blogging world. You see people enjoy the prospect of having their own internet space by which people will 'tune in' to their space and read something clever. However, people are often very boring (myself included), very shy (that is to say that they don't think they are interesting) or very lazy (that is to say me). Because of this people get worked up about the idea of their blog failing because they don't post or can't write well. Somewhere in the history of blogging someone came up with the premise that saves every blog: If you post someones words, that aren't yours, on your blog they become a reflection of you. Great News!

The Elements of re-posting:quotes are identical to audio and video.

Example on my blog: To the best of my knowledge I only ever did this once... but it was a joke
Example elsewhere: Janet Nicholson

#4- Re-post: Image.

I wasn't going to name this category but as I glanced through some blogs I know I noticed that people do just post images with little comment. Often you may find people post images with no words just to show you their lives. But occasionally I found people just posting images.

Examples: Chris Clements, Will K

I imagine you can re-post just about anything if you put your mind to it so I will leave this category open for interpretation.

Well that completes this segment I cannot wait til next time.

Patman the Bloged

Bad Driving Day

Another digression from my blog about blogging.

I definitely made my car's side mirror kiss the side mirror of another car today. Both freaky and ok.

They were nice and exchanged numbers. I think we'll go out for a date... not really.

Patman the Relieved

Now we interrupt with something completely different.

A side bar from my account of blogging. Let me take you into the fantastical world of Patman the Pat: A hero in cardboard.

My recent exploits have led me to seek ministry opportunity. And I think, even though cliche, opportunity is knocking. About a month ago I went looking for work in the Youth and Family field (considering that is my area of study). I was lead to a specific church (which I won't name because I have yet to take up work there) and I am very excited.

They are looking for someone to come in and work with the already in existence children's program and to help develop the developing youth program. So I hope to soon embark on my first institutional church experience (at least working at one).

Patman Away!

Heroic Blog Patterns Part 1

Today I am going to talk about Blogging, a subject which I occasionally comment on within my blog. Specifically I am going to run you through the basic types of blogs in existence or atleast the most popular types. This is part one in a series of blogs on types of blogs. Today's subcategory: Introduction Blogs.

Type #1: The I'm Blogging Post

This post is created to allow any person entering a blog to know why the person is blogging.
The basic elements of this post are:

1. Welcome
2. Who am I?
3. What am I doing here?
4. What are you doing here?
5. Welcome
   

It is always important to welcome people twice... This is commonly the first post on a blog but occasional culture breakers will let this overly common blog fall to a short second or third.

Example on my blog: Organized people are just too lazy to look for things
Example on other blogs: Chris Clements, Chris Lewis

Type #2: The I'm Blogging Post 2

This post is identical to "The I'm Blogging Post" but there is a subtle difference. In this post the person has taken a hiatus from blogging or has ran out of things to say. For this reason they forge new ground by starting all over again with perhaps a new look or a new title in efforts to re-inspire both readers and writers.

The Basic Elements of this post are:

1. Welcome back (this often has the explanation of the new changes)
   
2. Who have I become?
3. What am I now going to do here in light of #2?
4. Why are going to be here in light of #3?
5. Welcome back

Example on my blog: Patman: the Dark Knight Returns, I yai yai, The "I"s have it
Examples from Others: Will Kinchlea, Will K.

Well thats enough for now tomorrow we start the sub-category: Re-posting... yup re-posting

Pmtp

Patman: The Dark Kight Returns.

Although probably lost on most people my title is a play on a comic book title... (I'll give you one guess which) But it is true The Patman* has returned. After a brief hiatus I have come back to the blogging world and hopefully I'll be blogging up a storm.

I have concluded, as per my new title, that:
a) all heroes wear cardboard armor.
b) I am a hero

I came to the conclusion that I am a hero as I stared into eyes of passion located on my head in the picture of me in a robot costume above. Now mind you I am not a robot and as a hero I don't intend to execute justice (or whatever) in a robotic way.

Some may say it is cocky to say you are a hero but I'm just going to go for it. In fact I invite you all to start calling yourself a hero it makes your life seem that much more interesting.

So here's the deal: I am going to try and capture my exploits as a hero, the mundane made fun-dane through the magic of writing.

Here is hoping for success!
Up, up and to bed.

Pmtp

*My new favorite thing is, rather than refer to myself as Patman, refer to myself as "The Patman." Batman does it so can I .

No Post Tonight

I sat here for like an hour.
Sorry folks.
No Post Tonight

Patman the Pat

Lewis Feels it...

Ok misleading title.

But if you read Chris Lewis' blog then you know that this was posted on his blog first. However, I love this too and the more who get to enjoy it the better. Let's face it it may be the best commercial ever. I think so.

Just watch it and fall in love.



Patman the heartfelt

Batman the Bat?

Anyways. I thought I would say that I liked the new batman movie. I've seen it twice and I'm leaning toward a third time.

I also updated my costume.

Patman the Pat

When Irish Upon a Star...

Every so often when I am in Toronto I will be asked "Where is Camp Norland?" I will chuckle a bit and try to explain that it is located in Kipling, well outside of Verner, which is outside of Sturgeon Falls, which is half way between North Bay and Sudbury. I'm not sure if people actually understand where it is but at this point they generally smile and stop asking questions.

For this reason it surprised me to no end this summer that a pair of people from Ireland came to camp this summer for a month.

Norman and Wendy are clearly two unique people. First of all they share a great sense of humor (which means, for those of you who miss the subtly there, they share my sense of humor). Second they came from Ireland to Camp Norland (again strange). Third they have that great Irish accent. Finally, they are cool people.

I have been fortunate to have been able to hang out with them and get to know them and I'm pretty sure I will be heading to Ireland for a couple weeks in the coming school season.

So today I am a big fan of the Irish.

Pmtp

This post is to proove to Will that I am still blogging

I have put this post here today so that in the event that Will Kinchlea, upon reading my comment on his blog about not blogging, comes to my blog to see if I have been blogging myself. This post is the proof that I am still blogging and that I can manage to blog. Therefore he can too.

PmtP

Episode II: Attack of the Lone

It seems that the last month has flown by.


So many things have happened and so few of them will I ever blog about. (how's that for vague?)

Needless to say being in this state of solitude, single space, this one on one, or any other allerative alone-time, has allowed me to reflect on much of my life.


I would like to now share with you my reflections on Solitude.

It should first be noted that I am not technically refering to the spiritual discpline of solitude since I am not attempting to discpline myself spiritually. I am, however, refering to the experience of being alone. Here are my thoughts:


1. Being alone is quiet- I have a tendancy to talk to myself when I am alone for long periods of time. This is not a psychotic reaction rather an attempt to break silence.


2. In solitude your use of Technology changes- It was funny for a while I used to drag my computer speakers up stairs to use with my mp3 player and then every night when I went to use my computer I would have to climb up the stairs and find them. I recently discovered that headphones work just as well and since I am the soul that desires to hear the music it just makes sense.


3. Being alone is different than being with others- I'll pause for a moment to let you all have a metal break after that revelation. ... ... ... I find myself sticking to a schedule. I have to do it because otherwise I'll get lost and forget to do different things. I think I would also find myself bored. For instance I can only watch TV between 8:00 and 10:00 and then I have to go downstairs. Its very odd for me to be on a schedule and so I must confess that it is different to be alone then to be with others.


Those are just a few of the ways that being alone is helpful. I find myself reading my bible more, thinking more, longing for people more, drinking water more (but I doubt that has anything to do with being alone) but however being alone changes a person it should be known that I miss the Toronto times.


I will now have a moment of silence for the experiences of Toronto: Skipping class, Star Craft with Dan, Brad and Gerry, playing Wii, Ace of Cakes, Yelling CHOWN, making fun of Penney, talking with Paul, Civ 4 with Will, New Pornographers concerts with the Clements, Dr. Mario with Jay Locke, and driving to school instead of walking... Toronto... here's to you!

(I live in the tall one)

PmtP

A funny thing happen on the way to my documentary

So I hit a snag in the solitary documentary I was so excited to make about a month ago.

It turns out I have no means of transfering video from my camera to a computer.

It also turns out that solitude is even boring for the guy in solitude. This doesn't help me become passionate behind documentary making.

In conclusion I am unsure if that whole documentary thing will work out.

However I may pull up my boot straps and make it happen.

For a free sample I leave you with this:






Pmtp


(for those of you who miss that joke: its blank because nothing is happening)

100

It turns out that this is my one hundredth post. That a pretty exciting concept (not only because it happens to fall on the same day as the hundredth episode of dancing with the stars) but because at times I thought I would give up on this blogging thing but yet here I am at 100.

Its been quite the journey and so today I thought I would look or at least reference my top five favorite posts and the five of my least favorite posts. For those of you who are new to my blog this is a quick way to catch up on the last 2 Years

Lets start with favorites:

5. The Real Truth About... http://patmanthepat.blogspot.com/2008/03/real-truth-about.html

Although a very recent post this one had that classic "I found something odd" feel to it and I think it represents well what I am trying to do with this blog: waste time.

4. An O-Phish-ial Sighting http://patmanthepat.blogspot.com/2006/05/o-phish-ial-sighting.html

"Fest" We Forget http://patmanthepat.blogspot.com/2006/06/fest-we-forget.html

These two posts represent shout outs to good times and good friends but also reflect my love of television. I enjoy both the themes and the titles.

3. Lemons http://patmanthepat.blogspot.com/2007/03/lemons.html

MY favorite part of this post was the graphic of my schedule. It included things like "Pizza with the Dean" "Single and Sexy" and "Pick up Frosh" That was probably the best graphic find ever.

2.Pat and the women who love him http://patmanthepat.blogspot.com/2006/08/pat-and-women-who-love-him.html

This was one of my best jabs at the expense of other people. I also enjoyed making fun of them.

1. St. Patrick's Day http://patmanthepat.blogspot.com/2007/03/st-patricks-day.html

Dan Young once told me there was nothing funnier than outright arrogance and I agree with him. I certainly am great.

In the honorable mention category:

The art of blogging:Modern Journals need more pictures http://patmanthepat.blogspot.com/2006/05/art-of-blogging-modern-journals-need.html

The Secret...No... Office life of Patman the Pat

http://patmanthepat.blogspot.com/2006/06/secret-no-office-life-of-patman-pat.html

Summer Reruns

http://patmanthepat.blogspot.com/2006/06/summer-reruns-live-from-new-york.html

http://patmanthepat.blogspot.com/2006/06/summer-reruns-live-from-new-york_17.html

Now for the 5 Worst posts:

5. The Art of Nothingness http://patmanthepat.blogspot.com/2006/07/art-of-nothingness.html

It was a joke that was for the sake of someone who doesn't read blogs. Good Idea.

4. Spy vs Spy http://patmanthepat.blogspot.com/2006/11/spy-vs-spy.html

While referencing a TV show I like this blog was rushed and didn't look very good.

3.Top Ten Great and Terrible Things about Camp so far http://patmanthepat.blogspot.com/2007/07/top-ten-things-great-and-terrible-about.html

The sheer fact that I reference Pokemon pushes this post far into the worst posts ever.

2. I am 23 http://patmanthepat.blogspot.com/2008/04/i-am-23.html

Rushed and a waste of space.

1. Humor... Comedy... What? http://patmanthepat.blogspot.com/2006/08/humor-comedy-what.html

Just plain terrible.

And there you have it. I haven't always been happy with this blog and at times I have outright loved it but yet I shall continue to pursue at least sub-excellence in every post and in that way I shall live forever on the interweb.

Pmtp

I yai yai

It turns out that "I" is a terrible gimmick...

And its not because Phil Kay asked me if it was going to work as a gimmick but rather it is a terrible gimmick because it limits my writing potential. Here is the reason why...

I have a hard time writing because every time
I think of a topic
I can't find a clever enough of way of using the word
I in the title.
I have always (in my head at least) thought that
I had clever titles which usually came out of my topics. Now
I find myself throwing away valid topics for the sake of
I.
I ultimately feel that
I will avoid
I in my title and change to a new title because
I officially denounce
I.

So lets embark on a new theme. In the next two months _ will be heading to camp and while _ am at camp _ will be the only one on the property everyday. This means that _ have officially adopted a new title: Adventures in Solitude.

Pmtp

I am 23

Should I be worried? No because lets face it Jim Carrey is not all that scary.

Photo Above: projected Pat-looks at 47 and then 59

Happy Birthday me.

Pmtp

I think I'm in love...

After the shock value of that statement has worn off I'll say it again. I think I'm in love.
Now let me explain why that is a slightly misleading title.


Heres the scenario: Last night I was writing a paper on Hosea. Hosea is a particularly interesting book about God's judgment and God's love. It has been a frustrating paper but yet now it is done. However when I finished last night I watched an episode of Scrubs. At the end of the episode one person proposed to another character. The character got down on one knee and proposed. There I was and the two images crossed and I was taken aback. God got down on one knee for us and I'm pretty confident that last night I said yes again because I realized I am in love with God.

It was interesting for me.

Pmtp

I have a new look...

Did you know that items like, paint, furniture, sound systems, art and accessories can be changed to create a whole new look?

I thought I did but then we re-decorated our house.

See below:

This is what one would typically call the 'before' shot

And this the commonly known "post-before" shot

This all shows what you (and you in this case means the Penney family) can do with a little money, some creativity and a designer from House and Home magazine.

Pmtp

The "I"s have it...

It seems that all my titles have the word "I" in it recently. I over analyze this in three ways:

1. I am self centered:
This, of course, is not my self-centered nature coming through (although I have a very strong self-centered nature) but rather it is because this is my blog about my life.

2. I have entered a new phase in my life:
Blogs generally run in trends. If I had a blog during the nineties I probably would have quoted "Nintendo Power" a lot and probably have vast discussions about the rules of marbles. Anyways the point is that the new trend in my blog is the 'I' titles.

3. I always wanted a gimmick:
Blogs often have gimmicks. Perhaps the blog has theme days. For instance, every Monday its the sad rant about how bad your weekend was or Thursday is the "famous pirates in history" day. If you click on Chris Clements' blog you'll see that he titles every blog with "On ____" Thus the word 'I' is my new gimmick. It isn't very flashy, it won't win me any awards but its mine.

I have also renamed my blog because of it. The new title is "The 'I' in Team" as you can clearly read above. Its a little joke.

Patman the I

(Note: If you don't get the joke about the "I" in team please seek medical help)

I was wrong...

You know I always said that girls aren't funny. In fact it is quite rare to find a girl who is funny. Now mind you what I mean by funny is that more often than not they can crack a joke and people (me) will laugh. Yes most girls can make the occasional funny remark or even the rare, daring and usually not socially acceptable pun but as a whole they just aren't funny.

But I was wrong.

I have found one funny girl.

Tina Fey is a funny girl and this is well documented on the television show 30 Rock which is an underrated television show in its second season. If you haven't seen it I would recommend rushing out to your local video store and renting season one. I will let you know that occasionally (as in all comedy shows except Corner Gas) there is an inappropriate comment or reference and thus you should use your own discretion when choosing to watch this exceptional TV show.

If you would like to experience something by Tina Fey that is more appropriate I would perhaps direct you to Mean Girls which she wrote.

Well there you have it: one funny girl.

Pmtp

I saw Phillip Yancey Yesterday

Yup he spoke at the President's dinner for Tyndale.

It was pretty cool. Almost inspired me to climb a mountain (almost). It was a great little experience.

I noticed something.

It seems he has a great hair style.

Two fine looking men.

I prefer me.

Patman the Stylish

I found something...

I was reading through some websites I visited long ago and I found something...

http://students.tyndale.ca/tucsa/viewpage.php?pid=5

Read it carefully.

Pmtp (apparently awesome)

The real truth about...

So I played a game tonight.

The game works like this:

1) log into local internet browser (this can be explorer, firefox, or any other)
2) go to a search engine (this means google... but I guess any search engine will do)
3) then type in quotations "the real truth about (blank)" (it should look like this: "the real truth about blank")
4) be surprised by what you find

Some suggestions:
You may wish to use common conspiracy theories like Roswell or the JFK assassination because these will commonly have the most crazy explanations but I am sure on just about any subject you may find something particularly crazy.

It is important to use the phrase "the real truth" because this implies that the author assumes that which is typically considered true is in fact false and must then give you the real truth... this is where crazy stuff generally happens.

If you don't find something crazy in your first hit continue down the list and you will eventually find that one crazy person who has mastered (poorly) the science of web-design.

For example:

I typed "the real truth about area 51" and about seven links down the list I found truthism.com

yes truthism (a valid source)

Now I'm not sure if this guy is a nut or just having fun. I personally prefer to believe he is a nut because that makes the whole experience funnier. This website was devoted to giving me, the unsuspecting internet viewer, the truth about everything. It was packed full of crazy things.

Top five favorite crazy things from this website:
5. The sun is a cube, not a sphere. It only appears to be a sphere because it is spinning at a high velocity. All suns (i.e., stars) are cubes.

4. The Earth is hollow, with an inner sun and a more advanced civilization than ours. In fact, all planets are hollow and have inner suns. Some of the Inner Earth people are aware of Earth's outer surface, and others are not.

3. Human beings were created (that is, invented) via genetic experiments that were conducted by reptilian aliens. These reptilian aliens, also known as the "Anunnaki" or the "Reptilians," still rule the Earth to this day.

2.One cannot travel to the North Pole or to the South Pole for two reasons: 1.) The North Pole and the South Pole do not exist. In their place are polar openings that lead into Inner Earth. 2.) Anyone en route to a polar opening is eventually stopped by Outer Earth guardsmen.

and my favorite which speaks for itself:
1)Women are ultra-impressionable beings, and therefore are easily controlled by aliens and the elite. The main purpose of women on Earth (that is, what aliens have programmed them to do) is to enslave men via relationships.


ok well have fun with my new game or just visit truthism.com

it will be fun...

Pmtp

Right?

I'm wondering, as of late, what it means to be right.

It is a big deal in the church to be right. At times, it seems, you cannot be called a Christian unless you are right. We make a big deal out of everything... worship, Christian living, Christian hope, salvation and the list goes on. Arguably in many cases its important to be right... to know the truth. It is important but is it necessary in every case?

Distinctions are made between protestant and catholic. These distinctions represent diverging viewpoints on what is right. Yet I am confident people are saved on either side.

People talk about the emerging church and traditional church. The dissonance between the two is a reflection on who is right. But both are seeking to serve and love God and be His church in the world...

I'm beginning to fear that the right is leading us into the wrong. The issue of 'right' is what tears the church apart. The issue of 'right' pushes people away because they are 'wrong.' I want to ask can't we all just get along?

Now I'm not willing to bend my core beliefs and I'm not trying to open the doors to heresy. But I'm just wondering if I can be with someone who calls them-self a Christian, loves Jesus, is trying to serve Him but may be way off the mark when it comes to doctrine. Clearly I can be with them but can I be with them and not make a big deal about where they are wrong?

I think God is working in the hearts of people who pursue Him and love Him. I don't think God is as concerned with where someone is right or wrong but rather he is concerned with getting to know them and them getting to know Him.

Maybe what I'm feeling is the call to unity and understanding. Perhaps we need to be addressing the ways in which we are brothers and sisters... even though I may baptize adults and you may baptize babies.

Let's not throw the baby out with the baptizing water... rather lets put all our eggs in one basket. Right?

Peace and Unity,
Pmtp

I'm not particularly happy right now...

I just had the opportunity to watch a movie called "For the Bible tells Me so" It is about Homosexuality and the Bible (more specifically the church). I understand that movies are crafted and have bias and because of that we need to think, truly think, about what is being said and expressed by the film. Ironically that is part of the argument of the film. It asks the viewer to think about the bible not just take what others say about it. I think that is a valid point and anyone who has had the fortune of talking to me about what I think the church is doing wrong, will know that I'm down with that idea. (note I say the word think five times above in effort to emphasize the point: THINK!)

But that isn't why I'm not happy. I'm not happy because the movie reflects Christians as people who hate. Its not just that the movie reflects that Christians hate but rather that the movie employs no trickery, no video magic but rather shows video footage, speeches, sermons and letters that clearly express that Christians hate people who are homosexual.

This is what troubles me this evening. How can I be part of the church knowing it is so full of hate? Why should I be proud to be a member of the church, when there is little to be proud about? I just can't imagine that this is a reflection of the church. I know there are loving people and that not all Christians are extremely hateful but I just feel such injustice pouring from the mouths of those who proclaim justice.

I don't know what God thinks about homosexuality. I know what the words on the page of the bible say... I thought I knew what they meant but if I look hard at myself and the standards of scholarly, theological study I hold myself to, I would have to say on this issue I have no argument one way or another except that which I am told by the people (a very broad category) who I listen to.

Heres the thing thats getting to me: God is in the process of setting the world right (as started with Jesus on the cross and his resurrection)... If you believe that then I have a question for you (the question I am asking myself) where does homosexuality fit?

If it is a sin what does that mean?
If it is natural/biological what does that mean?
If it is good or bad what does that mean?

And then what is our duty as a Christian (one who is meant to proclaim that God is setting the world right)?

Frankly I am concerned. I don't care what people do wrong I only care that they experience God's love, justice and grace. If that means dining with prostitutes and worshiping God with homosexuals. I think I'm ok with that.

I imagine that if someone experiences God's love, justice and grace they will respond to God appropriately (whatever that means) and if they are doing something wrong (or if I am doing something wrong) God will judge appropriately (whatever that means). And perhaps He may even begin to change all our lives to reflect Him more... and isn't that what being a Christian is all about.

Pmtp

Oh yeh go and watch the film... regardless of what you think about the issue... it will be good for you

I"m not dead.

I'm not dead.

Pmtp