I saw Phillip Yancey Yesterday

Yup he spoke at the President's dinner for Tyndale.

It was pretty cool. Almost inspired me to climb a mountain (almost). It was a great little experience.

I noticed something.

It seems he has a great hair style.

Two fine looking men.

I prefer me.

Patman the Stylish

I found something...

I was reading through some websites I visited long ago and I found something...

http://students.tyndale.ca/tucsa/viewpage.php?pid=5

Read it carefully.

Pmtp (apparently awesome)

The real truth about...

So I played a game tonight.

The game works like this:

1) log into local internet browser (this can be explorer, firefox, or any other)
2) go to a search engine (this means google... but I guess any search engine will do)
3) then type in quotations "the real truth about (blank)" (it should look like this: "the real truth about blank")
4) be surprised by what you find

Some suggestions:
You may wish to use common conspiracy theories like Roswell or the JFK assassination because these will commonly have the most crazy explanations but I am sure on just about any subject you may find something particularly crazy.

It is important to use the phrase "the real truth" because this implies that the author assumes that which is typically considered true is in fact false and must then give you the real truth... this is where crazy stuff generally happens.

If you don't find something crazy in your first hit continue down the list and you will eventually find that one crazy person who has mastered (poorly) the science of web-design.

For example:

I typed "the real truth about area 51" and about seven links down the list I found truthism.com

yes truthism (a valid source)

Now I'm not sure if this guy is a nut or just having fun. I personally prefer to believe he is a nut because that makes the whole experience funnier. This website was devoted to giving me, the unsuspecting internet viewer, the truth about everything. It was packed full of crazy things.

Top five favorite crazy things from this website:
5. The sun is a cube, not a sphere. It only appears to be a sphere because it is spinning at a high velocity. All suns (i.e., stars) are cubes.

4. The Earth is hollow, with an inner sun and a more advanced civilization than ours. In fact, all planets are hollow and have inner suns. Some of the Inner Earth people are aware of Earth's outer surface, and others are not.

3. Human beings were created (that is, invented) via genetic experiments that were conducted by reptilian aliens. These reptilian aliens, also known as the "Anunnaki" or the "Reptilians," still rule the Earth to this day.

2.One cannot travel to the North Pole or to the South Pole for two reasons: 1.) The North Pole and the South Pole do not exist. In their place are polar openings that lead into Inner Earth. 2.) Anyone en route to a polar opening is eventually stopped by Outer Earth guardsmen.

and my favorite which speaks for itself:
1)Women are ultra-impressionable beings, and therefore are easily controlled by aliens and the elite. The main purpose of women on Earth (that is, what aliens have programmed them to do) is to enslave men via relationships.


ok well have fun with my new game or just visit truthism.com

it will be fun...

Pmtp

You think you had a good weekend....

well I slept on a boat.

Thats right. Dan got married this weekend. But more importantly I slept on a boat.

"Just for fun" was its name. (It could very well be 'just 4 fun' which could be more fun but I didn't bother asking semantics) Yes I became captain of this boat for a brief moment between the hours of 9:00pm and 9:00 am. I had a proud first mate Disco Stu. It was great.

Slept well too.

Congratulations Dan... but more importantly congratulations me...

Captain Patman the Pat

(Model of boat I made in my spare time)

Memory

Today was a day of memories...

I was reminded today that many of the people I hang out with here (at camp) are very unlike the people I hang out with in Toronto. Sure a few of them play halo (one is even a member of the desert fathers clan) and of course they all love Jesus but they are just different. I was reminded this when I awoke to the song "burning down the house" by the talking heads (note: this song may be titled bringing down the house... its really hard to hear their lyrics). But as the song played a fire stirred in my heart and I remembered Animals, Cities, and CBGBs. It was fabulous. Of course as I exited my room I ran into one of my friends who also uses a radio who took the time to inform me that the song he had just heard on the radio entitled "burning down the house (or bringing)" was one of the most annoying songs in the world.

I was reminded that people like to vent frustrations at the wrong people.

I was reminded that if I put my ds in my pocket I would most likely eject the game currently in it losing all of my hard work.

And finally I was reminded of Peter Gabriel when he was challenged by David Bowie on the 4 showdown.

It was a musically involved day

p the p

Top Ten Things Great - and Terrible About Camp so Far

Great Things

10. I don't have to write any papers
9. I am doing practical things with my faith
8. I have developed a slight passion for Pokemon
7. I eat healthy and interact with a normal schedule
6. I do recieve some form of monetary supliment for my work
5. Good friends
4. Good times
3. Occasional Days off
2. the chicks lol
1. I like camp

Terrible things

10. I get really tired
9. All my toronto friends are not here
8. I sometimes have little to do
7. I often have too much to do
6. I developed a slight passion for pokemon
5. I get tired
4. Too many needy people
3. It is hard to do work in this style
2. Kids/Teenagers can be very annoying
1. It rains quite often

Pman the Pat

Web-a-thon

Its happening all around us... but no one makes a sound.

Thousands abandoned... left without care.

We have a new terror sweeping the land. Across the internet and around the world people everywhere are abandoning what they started. In 2006 the exciting and interconnected "Facebook" arrived on the scene. At first it was a wonderment... People were happy, excited, reconnecting with old friends, and inter-connecting with current friends. It was a happy time for the internet... or was it?

Behind the scenes of this modern craze there was a dark alley of abandonment. You see all over the internet people are giving up on their traditional blogs and opting for a 'note' based system of posting. But what about the blogs? What about the pointless stories you once wrote for all the internet to see? What about the photographs and epitaphs you churned out on a semi-almost-sort-of daily to weekly basis? What about the hours you already wasted, invested in this faction of internet culture? What are you going to do?

With the abandonment of blogs everywhere there is more need in the internet today for people like you to step up and support traditional blogs. But this is more than a call to donate money (send all donations to rubic_@hotmail.com) but you can do more (although donations would be great: rubic_@hotmail.com). If money isn't available you can:

1) talk to a friend who has abandoned their blogs (maybe even write on their wall)

2) start support groups in your community to raise blog awareness

3) think about adopting a blog that is already out there

Blogs matter.

(This has been a paid advertisement by the "Pat Needs a Life Foundation" if you would like to be involved in the PNLF please send all donations to rubic_@hotmail.com)

Where have all the bloggers gone?

Look I have three things going against me... 1- I'm alone, manageable. 2- I have an ample supply of time on my hands. 3- I have dial up Internet.

With that in mind I am attempting to read my friends blogs (listed to the left) and find exciting new updates. As of recently I have found no new updates (except Fulford's blog) and its making me right cheesed.

Friends I'm calling you out. Pick up your electronic pen (the keyboard) and say something.
(if you are reading this and I don't know your blog and you are frankly up set that I would write such grandiose claims let me know what your blog is... although technically I may already read it if it is listed on someone else's blog... I'm just too lazy to update that list)

Patman the Pat

One...

is the loneliest number that you'll ever know... it is aparently many other things as well.

Today marks day one of my official 'solitude' at camp. This pretty much means I live on the camp property alone. This is an interesting development in all that is Pat, since I generally do enjoy the company of a select few individuals and prefer some form of social interaction. This being the case I am intrigued by the prospect of being alone.

Tanya K., as all those former RAs would know, would say that it is good to spend time in the quiet and in solitude (but I think she stole that from a book or two) Some movies mark that those who spend extended time alone go crazy. As for me... I'm hoping to land somewhere in the middle... a cross between the desert fathers and Gollum.

+

=

Develop a strong spiritual life by communing solely with the Father while at the same time developing a strong inner life by communing with myselfs.

With that being said we would like to bid you farewell...

Patmen the Pats

April Makes Fools of us all...

Now I would expect friends to prank me... enemies to prank me... even strangers on occasion might just prank me. But I think I have been pranked by technology.

Today as I went about my business (playing video games and whatever) I noticed two things. First that the house smelled of pancakes and second, that the VCR said that it was 3:00pm. This made some semblance of sense but as I peered over my shoulder the wall clock said 2:00pm. I figured the wall clock was wrong because it had led me astray once before. I carried on with my day and at 4:00pm (VCR time) I went grocery shopping (hoping to be back so that I could prepare dinner for around 4:00pm (Wall Clock Time).

As I returned from shopping and began to put away my food I noticed two things wrong in the kitchen. First, as a diversion from the actual story, I notice the front element of the oven was still on (for what I assumed was about 2 hours) and on that element was in fact a pancake which had lost all fluids and was rock hard. As I turned off the element (avoiding potential fires) I notice the clock was in line with the Wall Clock which read 4:00pm. Inevitably I turned on the TV, because the TV clock is never wrong, and found out that it was actually 4:00pm and that the Wall Clock, and Oven Clock were correct. So I fixed the VCR clock and carried about my business (Watching internet TV and whatever).

This was of course the end of the slightly confusing events or so I thought. Down in my room later my computer clock decided to be in contention with my alarm clock: again one hour different. Now at this point I didn't know what to do. The TV was upstairs thus I couldn't approach it for wisdom and there were no clocks around to save the day. And for that I reason I messaged my good friend Dan "What time is it?" Low and behold I found out the important facts. It was the computer that was wrong. And Dan, being the intelligent and knowledgeable person that he is, had a theory to why technology was making me an April Fool.

To Dan it wasn't technology but Y2K (no Dan isn't a crazy nut believing that it has finally happened) like symptoms. It seems with the change of Daylight Savings some technology is not compliant and so today, what would be Daylight Savings a year or two ago, my computer and VCR caught the bug.

In conclusion the technology pranked me but the Government was responsible.

Patman the Pat

(Note as well today marks the halfway point in the lenten-like month of Pat. Keep on celebrating)

St. Patrick's Day

I always become surprised on this day when I see people out sloshed, drinking their hearts out and partying. It just doesn't seem appropriate. I mean frankly to celebrate there should be at least double the drunkenness and triple the good times. Ok well maybe no drunkenness.

But today is my day. St. Patrick. It feels good to know that before I was born people took into consideration that I would be awesome and therefore made a day all about me. They even Sainted me.

My three miracles:

1) Good looks
2) Brains
3) Good looks

Anyways St. Patrick's Day marks the beginning of the 31 days in preparation for my Birthday. During these days people are supposed to talk about me, elevate my status above normal status and frankly just love me. People often forget this part of the Pat Calender but I forgive them on account of ignorance.

I also would like to note April fool's Day. It marks the half way point in this celebration and is also in honor of me. It highlights my keen sense of humor for all to laugh together.

So in conclusion let me remind you tonight when you celebrate remember me.

St. Patman the Pat

Lemons

To a certain extent last weekend I thought for sure life had given me lemons. I'll admit I thought I was never going to make it. Educational walls were closing in, social experiments and musicals brushing hard against the clock. I thought for sure life had given me lemons.

But as I struggled to make lemonade I slowly started to find that the lemons were in fact yellow rocks... which meant gold.

But maybe I"m getting ahead of myself. Let me begin by saying I do not typically complain about life in an open forum like this (in fact you will see this is a story of redemption not death)

But I digress... As I came home from reading week on Saturday 24th there was a dreaded week soon to come. This week from March 12-16th was going to ruin my life. Let me break it down:

12th- 18 Page Genesis paper

13th- 10 Holy Spirit Paper

14th- 500 page book to read

16th- Musical- which to say the least is a vast project

With these dates in mind I had planned a horrendous schedule that ate up all of my time and efforts. This of course is very out of character because I hate schedules. But I had done it.

(Note: actual schedule below... Tuesday is great)

But as Monday rolled around there were rumors from my dear friends at student's council that the musical would be pushed to the 15th of March. Which put it at an even more inconvenient time for both me and the various 'viewers' of it. This meant I needed to talk with the old council to work things out. I approached with a hearty "That date does not work" and got an equally hearty "Ok I'll look into it" This meeting left me with mixed feelings of hope and un-hope.

But a glimmer of light shone from the class that I had just somehow missed the last half of... Yes it seems that one Genesis paper had been delayed from the 12th to the 19th. This of course is the student's favorite thing known to many as: an extension. I was in a euphoric state. Questions began percolating: Can I actually accomplish this? Is this some kind of Trick devised by the Professor? Is it time for lunch? This was truly a blessed occasion.

But this move only meant a slight beacon of joy the new schedule was only slightly better...

lets look:

13th- 10 Holy Spirit Paper
14th- 500 page book to read
15th or 16th- Musical- which to say the least is a vast project
19th- 18 Page Genesis paper

Truly this was manageable...

But it gets better. Tuesday passed with little change and was just a typical Tuesday... that was until late Tuesday night. As I sat reading one of the many 'Dr. Penner Books" the phone rang. I assumed as usual it was for someone else but to my surprise it was Danielle Jupp, which to those of you who are not Tyndaliens, is our VP of Student Council. She had found me a new date for my musical. It was not to be the 16th... it was not to be the 15th... it was not to be not to be... but it was to be the 30th of March. A much better date.

And so I was filled with joy. Not just cause it was two weeks more or that it was not a Thursday night. It was something of joy because March 30th is Spring Banquet. My musical is to be performed at the very venue that I initially proposed it for.

My new schedule is:

13th- 10 Holy Spirit Paper
14th- 500 page book to read
19th- 18 page Genesis Paper
30th- Musical- which to say the least is a vast project

So yes I was given Lemons but it just turns out that someone else was going to make me lemonade.

Have a drink on me... Patman the Pat

Paper Mache

It seems I have finished yet another semester of writing papers. I have spent a fair share of time expressing my various thoughts on religion, philosophy and law (yes I didn't really expect law either) But none the less I have made it through the wilderness and taken a few trees with me. But as the semester closes I take a moment to reflect on the value of what I have learned.

Critical Reasoning (Monday and Wenesday 2:45 pm-4:00)

This class has been spent analysing the words and arguements of other people in attempts ot teach me how to better express my opinion. A small class of 8, we love to sit and mull over the suttle nuances of a good sillogism, the ins and outs of standard form and all the truth tables I could handle. It has been a time well.... spent.

Law and Religion (Monday 6:30 pm-9:30)

With one of my most interesting professors this class is probably one I'll never forget. Responcible for more reading then the sum total of my career in university. We have analysed what religious law means. This class intended for second year students is filled with forth year plus seeing as though the only students in second year dropped this course after day one. I will take whatever grade I can get at this point and will be content to pass... this course was meant to be a bird course for me and it was but the bird just happened to be a pheonix going down in flames.

First Corinthians (Wednesday 6:30 pm-9:30)

Dr. Penner teaches this course. What else can I say?

But for those of you who don't understand that reference. This class is very interesting, practical and full of ancient greek references. Yes I know I am a little bit of a nerd but I can't enough. I do however sit in the back of the class drawing pictures of various relevance with Brad.

World View Seminar (Thursday 8:30 am-11:30)

Big books and big words. Every week we come to this class and discuss the problem of humanity in various forms. We tend to glaze over the solution but I think we are getting there. This class is by far the most stimulating class I have because although I understand the proffessor I could never quite explain it so eloquently as he does.

This has been my semester. I have travelled the same halls, to the same rooms, to learn things that matter and don't all at the same time. The sum of my work this semester is that I understand what the problem with the world is both in the ancient world of the corinthians and in the world today. I can argue them in the manner of Plato and Socrates and ultimately I can't truely express them freely due to the law. Too bad.

P the P

Let's start the Revolution...

THE DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION

This weekend I began playing the game Dance Dance Revolution. The games purpose is to step on the proper dance pad at the right time... I think the concept of me doing this is funny enough to make this blog halarious. So Dance.

The Dance Pad:

The Dance Screen:


The Dance:

Pat T. Patman

Note: The above photograph may or may not contain me dancing

Humor... Comedy... What?

I have an insite to share with the world about this site. I like to think of myself as funny, sometimes even witty. And frankly I like to use this place as a healthy outlet for that twisted part of me. In efforts to this I post pictures, like this,


which although isn't really that funny will in the oddity of the moment will make us all laugh. (or atleast my crossed fingers will be pressing for that)

Anyways, humor is infact, a fiticious, not real, and maybe even sarcastic punch at the events of my day, history, television or just anything I deem funny. So in conclusion I will leave you with this disclaimer...

WARNING! WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ IS PRETTY MUCH A JOKE! SURE EVERY JOKE HAS VEILED LAYERS OF TRUTH BEHIND THEM, BUT UNLESS YOU HAVE A B.A. IN 'PAT'HOLOGY THEN YOU"LL NEVER BE ABLE TO FIGURE OUT THE TRUTH FROM THE HUMOR ANYWAYS. SO JUST ENJOY THE RIDE. LAUGH, CRY AND JUST ENJOY YOURSELF OR FIND THE LATEST IN CELEBRITY GOSSIP TO AMUSE YOU.

P the P

(Note: this very post is also humor. See its funny cause its overstating the drastically obvious. Well now that I explained the joke its not as funny. Well I still think it's funny. Maybe you do too I don't really know cause I'm just writing this now. Well this rant surly isn't helping the validity of the humor in this blog and in an effort to make it funnier I may have very well gone on too long right here. Well, forget everything I said. Well not the stuff above, the stuff here in the bottom... yeh, ok)

Pat and the Women Who Love Him...

Over the summer my grace and charm inspired the hearts of women everywhere to swoon. But even more specifically two women. But at this point I'm left questioning: How do I explain this properly?

Lets start at the beginning...

Pix (Janet)- Known for a long while, this poor girl had no choice but to fall for me. She was the assistant director in charge of females and had to... no longed to work beside me every single day. As the summer progressed and I began to school her in slaps, fooseball, ping pong and any other gaming type event she couldn't help but see the brilliance that is me. My name even appears on her blog 1.7 times per post.




Midge (Rebecca)- This girl has been falling for me for about a year now. She worked at camp last summer and let me tell you she's got it bad. She would sit and lose at scrabble again and again. The poor girl so madly in love with me took the defeat again and again and again (I could go on but I won't). This summer she back for youth camp cause she heard I was programming (with Pix)... shes a jealous girl so she came to watch out for me. But the plan backfired and she just fell for me more. Its just too bad.

Needless to say I had some fun making fun of them and eventually they retaliated with a song... Now I'm not the type to post an entire song so I'll just let you in on a line or two...

"You... be my Rubix, baby!"
"... you know it all!"
"We looked at him... we winked... a very big grin..."
"Rubix, you've got me..."

In conclusion I would like to apologize to these girl for turning them down... you'll find someone some day...

Patman the Pat

I killed a man this week....

Waldo was his name... It was brilliant.

Imagine this scene. You enter camp a young teenager 14-18. You have been to camp many times before and frankly you think you know the drill. Someone runs the program while you enjoy the ride. But this year its a new guy, Waldo, and, well, he's a jerk. He pushes people around, makes fun of everyone, takes away all the awsome and fun traditions that you have come to love and is just striving to ruin everything about your week.

The evening progresses and you try to make the best of it. But suddenly at campfire the light black out and when they return Waldo is gone... I enter half an hour later to tell you Waldo is dead and its your job to figure out who did it.

Surprise surprise it wasn't me but, boy, was I responcible.

Youth Camp 2006: Where's Waldo? He's dead!

Patman the Pat: Deluxe

Beards: When the razors fail...

For the past week or so I have taken the journey of not shaving. Needless to say it was itchy, annoying and grew in little spurts here and there. It was not the full beard that all men love to have. In fact I would go as far as to say it was not the 'in' thing to do. Having said that, I have learned a thing or two about beards that I would love to share with the world.

Numero Uno: Beards are a commodity. It may come as a surprise to you but women cannot grow beards, or rather they choose not to grow beards. I personally have heard the legend of a 'bearded lady' whom roams the forests of British Columbia but I think that may just be a tourist trap. Now as I was saying, beards are a commodity. Even the youth here at camp looked at me with awe as I struted about with my semi-manly, half-hearted beard. It was great. And, for your information, all women found me utterly repulsive. Score one for the big guy. (thumbs up)

Number Two: Misquitoes don't touch beards. As all other areas of my body were sucked dry of blood, I found it nice and relaxing to have my lower facial area not effected by the vampires.

Three: Beards save time. And time is money, so do it. No, really, I saved like five minutes a day and that times 7 is almost entire episode of House. It was sweet.

Now at this point you may be wondering: "Why would Pat blog about beards? That is a really boring topic. I mean what is he thinking. He's an idiot." But folks the mundane and beardly things of this world are more interesting than: Janet.

P the P

(I would like to note at this point that Janet spent the entire time that I blogged this trying to get me to write it about her. I have achieved this mission.)

For more information on beards check out your public library or vist www.beards.org.

Power...

I awoke the next day. It was oddly quiet and there was no one around. I peaked out from under my blanket. I was overly hot that morning so I went to turn the fan on. It lay still and I flicked the switch. It still layed still. Frustrated with the fan and the heat I decide to turn on the tap and brush my teeth. Strangely I found that no water came and my teeth were not about to be properly cleaned. I shrugged and carried on.

I moved up stairs and found that the day had long begun. It was after all 5 pm. I must have slept a long time. It turns out my radio wasn't on either. Something was really off. I decided that a nice cold pepsi late in the afternoon would do me good. So I reached into the darkened refridgerator and found only warm pepsi. I drank it anyways cause hey, I like the stuff.

The entire building was as quiet as a mouse and I figured apropriately I would check my email and maybe write in my blog. Oddly enough it seemed the computer had broken or something because it wouldn't turn on. By this point I was a little up set so I looked at the clock and realised that it was 5:00 am so I went back to bed....

I love power outtages...

RRWRR RWWR RWrRR

Toxic Mold and Story Telling: Staff Training 101

So camp has finally begun...

I no longer sit in an office alone, I am no longer a solitary force that moves from registration to registration. People are everywhere and I have begun to find my place in the crowd of staff.

I have started to notice a few things. The first day of camp my table was the last to fill up. I sat and a good friend of mine joined me but the highschoolers went together on their owe adventures. But as I sat and recalled tales of old with my dear friend, halirity would ensue. He would laugh. I would laugh. It was great.

The next day a few other people began joining us. Laughing along and waiting for me to share a story that makes people laugh. Finally today I noticed that not only was my seat saved as my own. But people were flocking to the table just to take part in these stories. (Ironic thing is I am running out but don't tell anyone) I just find it funny that people move to where the action is.

Anyways last night I achieved some staple camp moments. We had our first campfire, we moved a giant pile of brush and I fell out of my chair at dinner. But I had an entirely different experience in the evening. TOXIC MOLD. Joy upon joy. Its as black as night and twice as thick. Its grimmy, gross and gruesome. It was attached to bored and boy did it smell bad. But it was a new experience. That my friends is camp life... so far.

Patman the Pat Esq.