For the past week or so I have taken the journey of not shaving. Needless to say it was itchy, annoying and grew in little spurts here and there. It was not the full beard that all men love to have. In fact I would go as far as to say it was not the 'in' thing to do. Having said that, I have learned a thing or two about beards that I would love to share with the world.
Numero Uno: Beards are a commodity. It may come as a surprise to you but women cannot grow beards, or rather they choose not to grow beards. I personally have heard the legend of a 'bearded lady' whom roams the forests of British Columbia but I think that may just be a tourist trap. Now as I was saying, beards are a commodity. Even the youth here at camp looked at me with awe as I struted about with my semi-manly, half-hearted beard. It was great. And, for your information, all women found me utterly repulsive. Score one for the big guy. (thumbs up)
Number Two: Misquitoes don't touch beards. As all other areas of my body were sucked dry of blood, I found it nice and relaxing to have my lower facial area not effected by the vampires.
Three: Beards save time. And time is money, so do it. No, really, I saved like five minutes a day and that times 7 is almost entire episode of House. It was sweet.
Now at this point you may be wondering: "Why would Pat blog about beards? That is a really boring topic. I mean what is he thinking. He's an idiot." But folks the mundane and beardly things of this world are more interesting than: Janet.
P the P
(I would like to note at this point that Janet spent the entire time that I blogged this trying to get me to write it about her. I have achieved this mission.)
For more information on beards check out your public library or vist www.beards.org.
On Water
12 years ago
6 comments:
This is Pat.... I broke into Janet's account yet again to humbly apologize for anything in my post that might have offended dear Janet. She is my favouritest person in the whole world and I prove this daily by writing how much I love her on my arms in bright blue pen. Therefore, my post is invalid and Janet is to be commended for her great interestingness.
P-man the P
PS- Did I tell you how interesting Janet is? And not mundane at all?
By the way, this is really Pat, not Janet. I thought it would be more believable if I broke in to her account to write the previous message. I really do know her password. Just ask her... she knows I know it cause she knows it too.
P- diddyman the Pat
I really like how I have to break into someone elses blogger just to post an apology on my own blog... It seems kind of suspicious. Not very believable at all.
Patman the Pat
Courageous Patman, Courageous...did I spell that right? Beards are scratchy, itchy and irritable, did I mention they are Scratchy, anyways, I too have let mine grow some, in an effort to gear for School, turrah!
dear pat.
your father is a bear.
who met your mother at the circus.
the end.
I've never grown a beard like that or done a no-shave month or anything...don't know if i ever will...maybe though...who knows....i did grow a real goatee one time though and had it for a couple months.
this is mark smith commenting on my own experience because i know you care about me.
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