The real truth about...

So I played a game tonight.

The game works like this:

1) log into local internet browser (this can be explorer, firefox, or any other)
2) go to a search engine (this means google... but I guess any search engine will do)
3) then type in quotations "the real truth about (blank)" (it should look like this: "the real truth about blank")
4) be surprised by what you find

Some suggestions:
You may wish to use common conspiracy theories like Roswell or the JFK assassination because these will commonly have the most crazy explanations but I am sure on just about any subject you may find something particularly crazy.

It is important to use the phrase "the real truth" because this implies that the author assumes that which is typically considered true is in fact false and must then give you the real truth... this is where crazy stuff generally happens.

If you don't find something crazy in your first hit continue down the list and you will eventually find that one crazy person who has mastered (poorly) the science of web-design.

For example:

I typed "the real truth about area 51" and about seven links down the list I found truthism.com

yes truthism (a valid source)

Now I'm not sure if this guy is a nut or just having fun. I personally prefer to believe he is a nut because that makes the whole experience funnier. This website was devoted to giving me, the unsuspecting internet viewer, the truth about everything. It was packed full of crazy things.

Top five favorite crazy things from this website:
5. The sun is a cube, not a sphere. It only appears to be a sphere because it is spinning at a high velocity. All suns (i.e., stars) are cubes.

4. The Earth is hollow, with an inner sun and a more advanced civilization than ours. In fact, all planets are hollow and have inner suns. Some of the Inner Earth people are aware of Earth's outer surface, and others are not.

3. Human beings were created (that is, invented) via genetic experiments that were conducted by reptilian aliens. These reptilian aliens, also known as the "Anunnaki" or the "Reptilians," still rule the Earth to this day.

2.One cannot travel to the North Pole or to the South Pole for two reasons: 1.) The North Pole and the South Pole do not exist. In their place are polar openings that lead into Inner Earth. 2.) Anyone en route to a polar opening is eventually stopped by Outer Earth guardsmen.

and my favorite which speaks for itself:
1)Women are ultra-impressionable beings, and therefore are easily controlled by aliens and the elite. The main purpose of women on Earth (that is, what aliens have programmed them to do) is to enslave men via relationships.


ok well have fun with my new game or just visit truthism.com

it will be fun...

Pmtp

Age...

While a reference to 493's game of the year, age also refers to the length of time which you have lived on the earth. Currently it also titles a funny story.

I went to the new pornographers concert on sunday and of course I was carded and asked my age. I brilliantly responded 22 and was abruptly let into the show. YES!

But had it been two days earlier I would have had a bit of a challenge. You see I was talking to a new friend of mine online and they asked me my age. I brilliantly responded 21. As shocking as it was I failed to remember my age. It was also quite embarassing to have to explain exactly how I was born in April 1985 which means I'm 22.

So the moral of the story is 'Pat is an idiot' but in a good way.

Patman the idiot.

Law?

So I had a fun conversation this evening. I was talking to a man and I was telling him about my current perspective on law, from my course on Law and Religion. And he got really excited and told me it was my calling.

I just didn't have the heart to tell him how much I really didn't like the course.

Patman the Pat

One...

is the loneliest number that you'll ever know... it is aparently many other things as well.

Today marks day one of my official 'solitude' at camp. This pretty much means I live on the camp property alone. This is an interesting development in all that is Pat, since I generally do enjoy the company of a select few individuals and prefer some form of social interaction. This being the case I am intrigued by the prospect of being alone.

Tanya K., as all those former RAs would know, would say that it is good to spend time in the quiet and in solitude (but I think she stole that from a book or two) Some movies mark that those who spend extended time alone go crazy. As for me... I'm hoping to land somewhere in the middle... a cross between the desert fathers and Gollum.

+

=

Develop a strong spiritual life by communing solely with the Father while at the same time developing a strong inner life by communing with myselfs.

With that being said we would like to bid you farewell...

Patmen the Pats

April Makes Fools of us all...

Now I would expect friends to prank me... enemies to prank me... even strangers on occasion might just prank me. But I think I have been pranked by technology.

Today as I went about my business (playing video games and whatever) I noticed two things. First that the house smelled of pancakes and second, that the VCR said that it was 3:00pm. This made some semblance of sense but as I peered over my shoulder the wall clock said 2:00pm. I figured the wall clock was wrong because it had led me astray once before. I carried on with my day and at 4:00pm (VCR time) I went grocery shopping (hoping to be back so that I could prepare dinner for around 4:00pm (Wall Clock Time).

As I returned from shopping and began to put away my food I noticed two things wrong in the kitchen. First, as a diversion from the actual story, I notice the front element of the oven was still on (for what I assumed was about 2 hours) and on that element was in fact a pancake which had lost all fluids and was rock hard. As I turned off the element (avoiding potential fires) I notice the clock was in line with the Wall Clock which read 4:00pm. Inevitably I turned on the TV, because the TV clock is never wrong, and found out that it was actually 4:00pm and that the Wall Clock, and Oven Clock were correct. So I fixed the VCR clock and carried about my business (Watching internet TV and whatever).

This was of course the end of the slightly confusing events or so I thought. Down in my room later my computer clock decided to be in contention with my alarm clock: again one hour different. Now at this point I didn't know what to do. The TV was upstairs thus I couldn't approach it for wisdom and there were no clocks around to save the day. And for that I reason I messaged my good friend Dan "What time is it?" Low and behold I found out the important facts. It was the computer that was wrong. And Dan, being the intelligent and knowledgeable person that he is, had a theory to why technology was making me an April Fool.

To Dan it wasn't technology but Y2K (no Dan isn't a crazy nut believing that it has finally happened) like symptoms. It seems with the change of Daylight Savings some technology is not compliant and so today, what would be Daylight Savings a year or two ago, my computer and VCR caught the bug.

In conclusion the technology pranked me but the Government was responsible.

Patman the Pat

(Note as well today marks the halfway point in the lenten-like month of Pat. Keep on celebrating)