Humor... Comedy... What?

I have an insite to share with the world about this site. I like to think of myself as funny, sometimes even witty. And frankly I like to use this place as a healthy outlet for that twisted part of me. In efforts to this I post pictures, like this,


which although isn't really that funny will in the oddity of the moment will make us all laugh. (or atleast my crossed fingers will be pressing for that)

Anyways, humor is infact, a fiticious, not real, and maybe even sarcastic punch at the events of my day, history, television or just anything I deem funny. So in conclusion I will leave you with this disclaimer...

WARNING! WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ IS PRETTY MUCH A JOKE! SURE EVERY JOKE HAS VEILED LAYERS OF TRUTH BEHIND THEM, BUT UNLESS YOU HAVE A B.A. IN 'PAT'HOLOGY THEN YOU"LL NEVER BE ABLE TO FIGURE OUT THE TRUTH FROM THE HUMOR ANYWAYS. SO JUST ENJOY THE RIDE. LAUGH, CRY AND JUST ENJOY YOURSELF OR FIND THE LATEST IN CELEBRITY GOSSIP TO AMUSE YOU.

P the P

(Note: this very post is also humor. See its funny cause its overstating the drastically obvious. Well now that I explained the joke its not as funny. Well I still think it's funny. Maybe you do too I don't really know cause I'm just writing this now. Well this rant surly isn't helping the validity of the humor in this blog and in an effort to make it funnier I may have very well gone on too long right here. Well, forget everything I said. Well not the stuff above, the stuff here in the bottom... yeh, ok)

Pat and the Women Who Love Him...

Over the summer my grace and charm inspired the hearts of women everywhere to swoon. But even more specifically two women. But at this point I'm left questioning: How do I explain this properly?

Lets start at the beginning...

Pix (Janet)- Known for a long while, this poor girl had no choice but to fall for me. She was the assistant director in charge of females and had to... no longed to work beside me every single day. As the summer progressed and I began to school her in slaps, fooseball, ping pong and any other gaming type event she couldn't help but see the brilliance that is me. My name even appears on her blog 1.7 times per post.




Midge (Rebecca)- This girl has been falling for me for about a year now. She worked at camp last summer and let me tell you she's got it bad. She would sit and lose at scrabble again and again. The poor girl so madly in love with me took the defeat again and again and again (I could go on but I won't). This summer she back for youth camp cause she heard I was programming (with Pix)... shes a jealous girl so she came to watch out for me. But the plan backfired and she just fell for me more. Its just too bad.

Needless to say I had some fun making fun of them and eventually they retaliated with a song... Now I'm not the type to post an entire song so I'll just let you in on a line or two...

"You... be my Rubix, baby!"
"... you know it all!"
"We looked at him... we winked... a very big grin..."
"Rubix, you've got me..."

In conclusion I would like to apologize to these girl for turning them down... you'll find someone some day...

Patman the Pat

I killed a man this week....

Waldo was his name... It was brilliant.

Imagine this scene. You enter camp a young teenager 14-18. You have been to camp many times before and frankly you think you know the drill. Someone runs the program while you enjoy the ride. But this year its a new guy, Waldo, and, well, he's a jerk. He pushes people around, makes fun of everyone, takes away all the awsome and fun traditions that you have come to love and is just striving to ruin everything about your week.

The evening progresses and you try to make the best of it. But suddenly at campfire the light black out and when they return Waldo is gone... I enter half an hour later to tell you Waldo is dead and its your job to figure out who did it.

Surprise surprise it wasn't me but, boy, was I responcible.

Youth Camp 2006: Where's Waldo? He's dead!

Patman the Pat: Deluxe

Anger...

Anger... Sucks

Patman the Pat

Super Nova... Scotia

It was beautiful rainy day as I departed camp for four days rest in the distant land of Nova Scotia. I arrived at home and back my bags and slept briefly. I arose tired but will I was about to embark on a journey that would set my heart ablaze.

The plane ride to Toronto was normal. I did however discover that I have a deep deep passion for Dad's Oatmeal cookies.

I sat in the airport for a good 5 hours. I watched the movie the great escape. Turns out... It wasn't that great after all. But it was entertaining. I would like to redub the film "The Entertaining Attempt to Escape and I Guess Some of them Make It" But apparently it was based on a true story so I will choose to no longer make fun of it.

I arrived in Halifax and tried with all my might to find my friend head and shoulders above the rest. And eventually there he was, Andrew Thompson.

The reason for the journey was to witness Andrew and Sarah get married. I was fortunate and honored to serve as MC for their wedding. So, Andrew arrived in Halifax to pick me up. We drove to Truro remembering our old friends, past adventures and something about a missing cow. It was good. Friends destined to laugh, share and grow, we headed to my hotel.

My hotel room was fit for four but only for me. I was happily alone in this kingdom. Andrew called his lady friend and I ate my dinner.

Shortly after this brief stop we arrived at the home of the Sampsons. Sarah came running out. Andrew went running. I tried to find some way around them into her house. But to no avail I stood there ruining there first moment in months. Soon though, other came out and built a path for me. Inside I talked with other old friends and eventually the power went out. (It seems to be following me)

The next day I awoke bright and early at Three in the afternoon. Work had taken its toll and I was taking it back. I had a quick dinner and went to rehearsal. I entered in the back door and found myself face first with the bride and groom to be and felt a little out of place. But I was welcomed by a smile and soon the rehearsal was over.

We went to the after party and I ran to the room without the crowd and lost at a game of scrabble. The power did not go out this time but my passion for Scrabble did. I serenaded the ladies still preparing things the night before wedding and eventually went to my hotel and slept.

I awoke in time to shave, dress and eat. I went to the wedding and was amazed at the beauty and strength of the service and the two people I couldn't be happier for.

It was a wonderful evening. I cracked jokes, ate good food, experienced strange dancing rituals. It was marvelous. I would like to note at this point I sat with Andrew and his two brothers: James and Troy. And I gotta tell you that if you think one Thompson is funny... Try three. I could have died, it was so funny.

In the end I saw my sister Jen and returned to camp.

It was a great time, with great friends and I wouldn't have traded it for the world. Congratulations Andrew and Sarah Thompson.

(I will incorperate images at a different date since I am having no luck with them now)

Pat the Patman