Dating Advice form Culture's Biggest Strikeouts: Christmas Edition

Well the goose is not only getting fat but is now quite fat indeed. For that reason Christmas is known to have arrived. With Christmas Eve my family sits to watch the beloved classic "Muppet's Christmas Carol" and so we sat tonight. Lo and behold my sister recommended Scrooge as a contender from which we could derive bad dating advice. Thus I reflect:

Scrooge is an odd person who seems to fail at much more than dating. From those habits and his brief relationship with Ann (or Egg or whatever her name was) let's pick up how not to pick up.

1. Hate everything
A rough starting ground but sure to give off that 'bad boy' vibe I hear is so popular with the ladies.

2. Ignore charity
Nothing says weakness like giving to the poor and women like strong men.

3. Seek the counsel of ghosts
This works for Scrooge and he does become a better person. But from what I can tell only desperate people take the counsel of ghosts and when you hit rock bottom looking for a girlfriend is low priority. Scrooge's priority: coal consumption.

4. When you are in a frank discussion about your relationship and how unfeeling you are... abruptly shove an expensive gift in her face.
Arguments are for a moment but diamonds are forever. Am I right?

5. If your girlfriend breaks into a song about love being gone. Walk away.
Its too late and frankly she sings too much.

6. two words: Catch Phrase
The ladies eat them up. "Bah Humbug" "Bazinga" "Hammer time" The list is endless and you can't go wrong.

7. Lastly if everything has gone wrong. Scrooge recommends harboring a deep hatred for Christmas. It may not get you the girl but everyone in town will be talking about you... and popularity is the fast track to singles heaven.

Merry Christmas.

Patman the Merry

Dating Advice from Culture's Biggest Strikeouts 2

Tonight we examine the case of Beast from "Beauty and the Beast." Some may argue that he is not a cultural strikeout and he in fact gets the girl. I feel that regardless of this for the most part Beast was a strike out from the get go and although his strategy eventually worked for him it was hit or miss there for a while.

Let's look at his methods:

1) Abuse the elderly.
It may seem like a poor move like giving up a piece in chess but for this prince "charming" isn't central to his style.

2) Don't date till you are absolutely desperate.
See the beast hid himself away getting more and more bitter just waiting for his rose to go out and it wasn't until chance and desperation got together that he swung for the fences and brought home our beauty.

3) Over react to about everything.
Trespassers: Throw them in the dungeon!
Enter the East wing: GET OUT!
Girl leaves him: Lock oneself in the tower and become emo... I mean give up on love.

4) Dance. It's good and it works.

Now the final pieces of the puzzle where the Beast ends up succeeding:

5) Kick the girl out.

6) Let the villagers come to kill you.

7) Kill local hero.
Sure Gaston was a jerk to Belle but everyone else seemed to love him.

8) Die.
Bold move by any account.

9) Get the girl.
Somewhere between death and love the beast should have been a lost cause. But because he abused the elderly decades ago he gets the opportunity to marry the most beautiful girl in town and he does.

This is a questionable method and I wouldn't recommend it for anyone because you really need a magical curse to turn blessing and they are not a dime a dozen.

I hope you have learned something valuable about dating from the Beast.

Patman the Well-informed.

PS - I should have mentioned that the Beast also takes advantage of his friends and co-workers involving them in his curse. Again not the best strategy but very popular by today's dating standards.

Bitter

So is a blog a long twitter or is twitter short blogging?

These are the questions of our time.

Patman the Pat

If Sufjan just isn't enough

I saw D. Young post this link to his brother and found the greatest culmination of free Christmas music of all varieties. Check it out. It's free!

Patman the Joyous

I'm not sure how proud I should be of this...

I'm not sure how proud I should be of this but five years ago I was as funny as Jimmy Fallon is today.

http://www.thrfeed.com/2009/11/neil-young-sings-fresh-prince-theme-song-video.html

Its been done Fallon...

Patman the better than Fallon.

Devoted #4: Citizens, families, and buildings

Eph 2:11-22 tonight.

Considered what it meant to be citizens of heaven, part of the family of God and God dwelling in us.

It seems to me this is all about identity markers. I not Canadian first I am a citizen of heaven, I am not a Sutherland first I am part of God's family, I am not my own I am God's dwelling place.

Patman the identified.

Devoted #3: For God so loved...

Given that I have maintained three days of reflection I am now an expert. A sagely guide to the spiritual. A wise-man prepared to solve all the problems one may have theologically, spiritually and relationally.

But besides that I was taken aback by another question today. I read Eph 2:1-10. And was eventually asked why does God love us so much?

Theologically I can identify lots of reasons many to do with creation (ie image of God in us, God's concern for that which he has made) and some to do with God's character (being love and all) but it doesn't always translate to my heart.

In fact when answering the question it was much easier to say why God would love everybody else rather than why God would love me. Generalizations are easy, specifications are hard.

Patman the beloved.

Devoted #2:Knowing Jesus Changes Today

So today I was looking at Ephesians 1:15-23. The challenging question for me was in light of the fact that knowing Jesus more changes the way we see things what are practical ways we can live that change?

This semester I have written, read and preached on the subject of change in light of a future hope that we have in Jesus and the resurrection. Ironically when I read this question I was taken aback by the practical element.

It is easy to glaze over the abstract and say "hope changes everything" but in concrete terms it takes more thought. In one sense as well it is easy to say "we live that expected future today" by feeding the poor, offering healing to the sick and setting captives free but again in serious question is "Today what can I do?" Or "how am I today living in hope?"

It's harder to answer I think.

I need to make the abstract practical today and allow Jesus to be invasive in what I do. (Still an abstract thought!)

Patman the Hopeful?

Devoted #1

A while back I heard Andy Crouch preach on purchases and practices at the Tyndale Faith Talks. All in all it was a fantastic argument for living a disciplined life over a quick fix life. I thought it was the most significant portrayal of why we do the spiritual disciplines.

And I did nothing in response.

I wanted to engage in a practiced life but I apparently forgot.

So I'm trying to do that now. Simply put I am devoting myself to personal study of the bible. I got this Bible Study guide that N. T. Wright put out on Ephesians and its a really easy and concrete 11 session study of Ephesians. I'm going to try to work through that. And to keep myself committed I am going to blog a reflection once a day in light of that time.

Today I was looking at Ephesians 1:1-14 and I struggled with the question: What ways is God calling me to bless others?

I was taken aback by the question because although I try to serve God, spend summers in a camp environment, and school years in seminary. But right now, this semester, I'm not sure I am actively engaged in blessing others. I do a few things here and there but I am rarely intentionally blessing others.

I can gloss over it and say that I am devoted to my studies which is preparations for blessing others but that's a bit of a cop out.

I need to think about it.

Patman the Thinker

Sixty-four Squares

I have few past times that I call loves.

I enjoy music and playing it on my guitar, banjo and the likes.
I enjoy my studies and reading a good theological text once and a while.

But these are not necessarily things that I love. They are not loves.

Musicals I love.

And recently I have found my soul being called to a past love: Chess

I learned to play chess with my Grandpa. Before he died he lived with us and we used to, when I was younger, play a game or two once everyday or two. He taught me to love chess.

But I'll admit I stopped playing chess for many years.




However, the allure of sixty-four squares called to me and I returned to my first love: Chess.

Check and Mate.

Patman the King

Quoting is fun

So I had my interview with Andy Crouch a few weeks back and I thoroughly enjoyed reading his book and talking about it.

(I did not enjoy transcription from audio to magazine)

He had some great things to offer the discussion we were having in the Canon25 and for today's blog post let me quote one for you:

"I believe that God is in the business of changing the world but I think that’s God’s business. My business is not to change the world but to create culture. It’s a different thing, because culture is always created locally. When you talk about the world it is so grand and inevitably abstract. Whereas my calling is to figure out what I can do today in my home town, with the networks of people I am connected to and that’s only a couple hundred people that I could actually collaborate to do something with. That’s where I am responsible to do something."

-Andy Crouch

Read his book Culture Making. Its well worth the read.

Patman the well... read.

With Christmas comes song...

It is important each year to have a deep and passionate love affair with a Christmas song.

Sounds provocative I know...

I typically blog once a year about the Sufjan Stevens Songs for Christmas.
I do this for a few reasons:

1) Its great
2) It happens to coincide with paper writing and frankly blogging beats paper writing and Christmas beats exams
3) I am not nearly interesting enough to maintain an original or new blog idea every day let alone year.
4) Its led to a personal tradition that I wish to inspire others toward

Each year, typically through Sufjan, I pick out a classic hymn, or song dedicated to Jesus' birth and make it the Christmas Song of the Year. I meditate, sing and enjoy the richness of its meaning and allow the music I hear every year one more chance to impact me.

Previous winners include:
2006 - Lo How a Rose Err Blooming
2007 - O Come O Come Emmanuel
2008 - Oh Holy Night

The best thing about this practice is that it slow but surely is building a compilation of Christmas songs that I have let touch my soul and continue to reach me each year.

This year I have gone away from the Sufjan list...
I present "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear"

It came upon the midnight clear,
That glorious song of old,
From angels bending near the earth,
To touch their harps of gold;
“Peace on the earth, good will to men,
From Heaven’s all gracious King.”
The world in solemn stillness lay,
To hear the angels sing.

Still through the cloven skies they come
With peaceful wings unfurled,
And still their heavenly music floats
O’er all the weary world;
Above its sad and lowly plains,
They bend on hovering wing,
And ever over its Babel sounds
The blessèd angels sing.

Yet with the woes of sin and strife
The world has suffered long;
Beneath the angel strain have rolled
Two thousand years of wrong;
And man, at war with man, hears not
The love-song which they bring;
O hush the noise, ye men of strife
And hear the angels sing.

And ye, beneath life’s crushing load,
Whose forms are bending low,
Who toil along the climbing way
With painful steps and slow,
Look now! for glad and golden hours
Come swiftly on the wing.
O rest beside the weary road,
And hear the angels sing!

For lo! the days are hastening on,
By prophet-bards foretold,
When with the ever circling years
Comes round the age of gold;
When peace shall over all the earth
Its ancient splendors fling,
And the whole world send back the song
Which now the angels sing.

There is a richness to Christmas hymns.

Patman the Rich

Today

Blessing of Manwich on this fine Manwichfest.

Patman the stuffed (with Manwich)

ps photos coming soon.

Distractions 2009 #1

Ok so I was working on a paper and then I wasn't because I was surfing the internet...

Found this...

Ólafur Arnalds - Ljósið (Official Music Video) from Erased Tapes on Vimeo.

Officially distracted...

Patman the calmed.

Interview

I am excited and nervous. Have you ever interviewed someone? I haven't. Tomorrow I am going to interview someone. I may very well have jumped into the deep end.

A year ago or so I first encountered a book called "Culture Making" by Andy Crouch. I was caught up in its ideas and its potential. I started to read it in December and I finished it recently. And tomorrow I am going to sit down with Andy Crouch and ask him a few questions. All for the sake of that beloved project Canon25.

Have you ever thought what you might ask someone who you really enjoyed reading? I'm looking forward to meeting the man and intrigued at the prospect of an interview.

I'm just hoping my interview skills are going to bring about good discussion.

Patman the Reporter.